My Story Samantha

I met V six months ago through
online dating.I have pretty much given up
on the chance to find. True Love and than I
met him. Not particularly handsome, short
But quiet and attentive. He offered to help
me find an Appartment to buy because I told
Him I was looking to either buy or rent
With the help of my parents. He volunteered to
Help me and asked me how much I could
Afford and how much my parents can help
Me with the down payment . I found
this a bit too direct and commented that it was nice
But that I was looking fir a partner, not a
Broker when I joined Cupid. He gently
Pushed back saying that his intention was to help
And that I took it the wrong way.
Little did I know that this was going to be the motto
Of our relationship. That I am getting it wrong.
Always. He found for me a place and told me that he
Would give me back the commission he got as a broker
so that My yearly rent would be cheaper. I was
Touched by this show of generosity wondering if I found
The man that I had been looking for, for so long .
Our relationship became intense quite
Quickly. The sex was great but I constantly felt
Unseen , unheard and unappreciated. He kept on telling me
How much he cared about and valued
me and I loved hearing that.
He was also a great lover. However, whenever we
Met I would have my expectations high only to
Feel down the next day. I would come to his
Place late, after work only to find him still sleeping
And when he woke up, he has no intention
of pampering me. It was sex and sex.
There was never a gift or even nice food
And when I protested he blamed me that I was
Being difficult with food and that he did not
Know how to pamper me. It was always my fault.
I started to feel confused by the discrepancy between
His words and actions. He invited me to stay
At a friends house in the hamptons
When e came there he brought all his leftovers from
The refrigerator and I ended up paying for our
Groceries bc he had no intention of
Buying us food. We kept on getting into fights
Over his apparent lack of generosity with him
blaming me for being over reactive and crazy.
I was devastated. I grew to like his texts and
The physical connection and enjoyed
Some parts of him a lot but whenever it came
To me demanding to be treated lovingly , it was my fault.
Months past and he never gave me the commission he
Promised he would give me. He kept on telling
me he did not have money
And that he had not received the commission as yet .
He does quite well financially and I realized
He was lying to me about not having money
while at the same time He kept on accusing me for sabotaging
our relationship by coming with unrealistic demands
And false accusations over being used.
I felt like a free whore.
Moreover, I discovered that his job was somewhat
Different from what he was doing and that
He has not been honest there too.
I kept in breaking up with him only to be told how
Much he cared for me. About a week ago
I told him that I could not tolerate being
Treated this way and that this relationship
was over. He came to my home uninvited
And told me how much he cared for me, his eyes
Tearing. I told him, I know you got the commission
Because the management finally paid you
So where is the proof that you are trust worthy
And honest. He laughed and
said I knew you would ask me.
Why does it have to be today? I responded : it's
About trust and you have not given me what
You had promised and it has been
Five months already. He was able to again
Manipulate me, telling me how he cared for me
And we made love. When he left the house
I realized how he manipulated me again
And that I wanted this selfish man out of my life.
It has been lonely and I am hoping to get
Support on maintaining no contact and
Freeing my life from the worst partner that
I have ever had.
It's lonely and I miss him but I know
That I miss the person that he tried to
convince me existed but not him.
He is a selfish and untrustworthy man
Who can only see himself and has no compassion
For me. He has no problem lying
And has no interest in giving, only getting and when
Being confronted he attacks me verbally and tries
To make me feel entitled and unreasonable.
May I be freed from my attachment to this
Selfish man.