My Story CJenson

I met him over a year ago and he was the man of my dreams. He was understanding, affectionate, loving, and wanted to spend as much time as possible with me. Within three months, he had moved into town to be closer to me. We had so much in common and he absolutely seemed to be my soul mate.

Within the first week we had an argument about something he told me and when I did not react in a positive manner, he became very upset and accused me of not accepting him. I felt guilty, apologized profusely and made amends assuring him that I was not judgemental. Things went along quite will for about six months except for a few things. For, example he was never interested in sex if I initiated it. I learned quickly that he was the one that determined when we had sex. His desire for sex was variable, sometimes wanting it many times a day to not wanting it for a week. I remember the first time that I wore some lingerie to entice him. He did not even look at me and went back to watching a movie. He later told me that it was movie he wanted to see and that he was tired.

Six months into the relationship we were at a party and he stopped at one point in the middle of the floor for about 30 seconds to watch two girls that were dancing. His comment at the time was that he enjoyed the French energy and it did not mean anything. I remember this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. About two weeks later he got upset that I was not going to the gym and told me that he was used to dating younger women who were in better shape and he was more attracted to them. I almost broke up with him at the time because I was so upset. He was very apologetic and we continued on. About a week later, he got very upset while we were dancing and became very cold and distant. I asked what was wrong and he said that he was suffering from PTSD and I was not being supportive of him. Once again, I was very apologetic and told him that I would try to be more supportive of him.

About three months later, I was getting very tired of his constant need to "take breaks," being too tired, sick or stressed to get together and told him that I also need to take a break as I did not feel my own needs were being met. He became very upset and said that he had wanted to take a break too but I had gone ahead and asked for one first. He was not interested in connecting right away and said that he needed to take time apart from me and that maybe we should date other people, so we could appreciate each other more. I took this as him breaking up with me. However, on the weekend I was at a dance and he showed up and saw me dancing with someone else and became quite upset. We of course got back together and the makeup sex was great. Things did go downhill from there.

Two weekends ago, he was over and decided that he was not feeling well and needed to go home. He contacted me later to say that he still needed some time apart. As it was a long weekend, I made plans the next day to spend time with a friend. He of course contacted me and wanted to do something. I let him know that I had already made plans. He was very upset that I did not contact him later to spend time with him. When I let him know that I was not interested in waiting around for him, he got quite upset. He told me the day before Valentine's day that he needed some time to sort out his feelings about our relationship. A week later I got an email from him breaking up with me. In the email, he said that the disconnects we were having were very painful and that it was better if we did not continue our romantic path together. He also said that he felt we were too much alike and this was causing blockages in our relationship. We had dated for well over a year.

It felt to me that our "disconnects' happened when I was exerting myself.

I am an empathy and know that I have some codependent traits, which I am working very hard to eradicate. Interestingly, he is a therapist and does couples counselling.

Does this sound like a narcissist?