where can I go if I feel like I am now the one who is a narc??
where can I go if I feel like I am now the one who is a narc??
This is a serious question. I feel broken, broken.....and broken some more.
I have tried to be a good person all my life. But recently after being trodden on soooo many times by people...ive started to think-no one deserves the good side of me.
I have spent two days (apart from taking my child to school and back) at home on my own, no human contact.
I walk down the street and I feel like I hate everyone I make eye contact with.
The men that look at me like im a walking vagina not built for anything else.
How many times are you supposed to pick yourself up and have people disrespect you-before you accept your fate??
I am an afterthought in everyone's eyes...sadly including my own, because I put everyone else first, or think that my happiness depends on how people treat me....instead of just treating myself with kindness.
Obviously my child loves me.....but how am I suppose to treat him how to love him self/others or how others should treat him if I don't know myself???
I go to work everyday...I don't say a single word....unless Im spoken to...if anyone looks at me for a second...I literally look at them like a piece of dirt as if to say "who the hell gave you permission to gaze upon me??"
I wish I was over exaggerating, but im not.
I just want to be left alone, humans lie so much....I cant believe what I see anymore from anyone. I don't even know who I am.
Men, friends, family......I don't want anyone
I just want to disappear and be all I need.
The amount of times I have been waiting for my train and my mind goes to a dark place.....and I have to literally snap out of it and back up incase I do something really stupid in a moment of madness (I would never do it, but the fact that I think about it every single time is bad enough)
But I forgot, im not enough....never have been
Im not looking for sympathy, and Im sorry if I upset anyone, but I don't know where else to express....
A child brings joy..
Negative breeds
How do you block out