where can I go if I feel like I am now the one who is a narc??

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#1 Feb 7 - 2PM
n3wlife
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where can I go if I feel like I am now the one who is a narc??

This is a serious question. I feel broken, broken.....and broken some more.

I have tried to be a good person all my life. But recently after being trodden on soooo many times by people...ive started to think-no one deserves the good side of me.

I have spent two days (apart from taking my child to school and back) at home on my own, no human contact.

I walk down the street and I feel like I hate everyone I make eye contact with.

The men that look at me like im a walking vagina not built for anything else.

How many times are you supposed to pick yourself up and have people disrespect you-before you accept your fate??

I am an afterthought in everyone's eyes...sadly including my own, because I put everyone else first, or think that my happiness depends on how people treat me....instead of just treating myself with kindness.

Obviously my child loves me.....but how am I suppose to treat him how to love him self/others or how others should treat him if I don't know myself???

I go to work everyday...I don't say a single word....unless Im spoken to...if anyone looks at me for a second...I literally look at them like a piece of dirt as if to say "who the hell gave you permission to gaze upon me??"

I wish I was over exaggerating, but im not.

I just want to be left alone, humans lie so much....I cant believe what I see anymore from anyone. I don't even know who I am.

Men, friends, family......I don't want anyone

I just want to disappear and be all I need.

The amount of times I have been waiting for my train and my mind goes to a dark place.....and I have to literally snap out of it and back up incase I do something really stupid in a moment of madness (I would never do it, but the fact that I think about it every single time is bad enough)

But I forgot, im not enough....never have been

Im not looking for sympathy, and Im sorry if I upset anyone, but I don't know where else to express....

Feb 7 - 4PM
pattylyn
pattylyn's picture

A child brings joy..

Feb 7 - 3PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Negative breeds

Feb 7 - 2PM
n3wlife
n3wlife's picture

How do you block out