Is this what is considered 'the fog lifting'?

So I had an appointment with a counselor on Monday which was my first appointment and it was the start to what has been a very inspiring week for me! The appointment went so well and I have set up 2 additional appointments (1 next week and then 1 the following week). She gave me homework which included practicing deep breathing 3x, and doing it 3x per day to assist in de-escalation. She also told me to find an affirmation to recite to myself when feeling overwhelmed to which I chose 'Somethings have to go wrong in order to go right'. These alone have helped me to get myself out of the negative feedback loop I have allowed MYSELF to get in due to him. It's amazing that something as little as breathing and reciting something that strikes a chord in you can impact you as much as the douchebag did!

I haven't had contact since Sunday when I told him he has serious mental issues and if he contacted me I would notify the appropriate authorities (he's a detective/cop so he knows the ramifications well). This has kept him from emailing me everyday saying how sorry he is, how much he loves me, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. And while I had a slight panic attack when I discovered a bunch of phone numbers on the house phone caller ID from August and September and proceeded to frantically look into them last night and part of today, a calm inner voice said, 'Stop. You already know what you need to know. Focus this energy on fixing YOU'. Perhaps it was my mother speaking from heaven. But at that moment I took my breaths, and I felt the peace again.

Reading the posts under Goldie's "Best MODS Posts" were 100% what I needed to read to reinforce everything I have realized this week. It feeds the part of my heart that is trying to believe in something false, and it allows my head to feel secure in what it has known for some time now.

I know I am not perfect. I know I will continue to have moments/minutes/days/ hours/weeks where I will question and miss him. I am doing all I can to provide MYSELF with the proper skills to talk myself out of those moments and allow myself to feel liberated and powerful. I know it wouldn't happen without everyone sharing their feelings. So thank you to all of you for sharing your hearts, sadness, joy, wisdom, insight-it is so empowering!

I am getting ready to take my nurse practitioner board certification exam next week which will open up a door to a new career path and a whole new journey. I have my dream job lined up, and it is everything I wanted in a job once I finished school. I REFUSE to let him invade my thoughts anymore than I have and take away time I need to focus on studying before I take my test next Thursday. I made this goal for my children and I so we could have a better life, and I could show them how much hard work and perseverance pays off. FUCK HIM-HE WILL NOT TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME AND MY KIDS!

Thanks for letting me vent and become empowered through your words of wisdom and support!! You are all a gift! XOXO