Waiting for the Hoover

I have debated for so long on whether or not to write on this forum about what's been nagging at me. This site has helped me in so many ways that I don't want to say the wrong things or appear that I have not done the work. I know I'm far out from the d&d which happened in February 2013. I have done the work but I'm still stuck. I pretend so much that the N never existed although we dated for an intense 5 months. I am this composed person that has it all together on the outside. Some close to me know what I went through but most do not. I'm ashamed. I keep it all inside. Those that do know my situation say that I was too good for the N, blah, blah, blah.

I understand the disorder. I don't want him. I also know a hoover is not a compliment. But for some reason I am so broken because he has not hovered. We only dated for 5 months but he promised marriage and I totally bought it. During this time I was going through divorce, I met his beautiful kids and he met mine, went on an amazing trip financed by us both, and so on.

I caught on to his antics after 5 months and I did call him out on being a narcissist. He is now engaged only 7 months since our demise. It hurts although I have moved on because I know he can't change. How can I get past this? I understand the disorder. People saying he never deserved me still hurts because he never deserved me and still didn't want me. I did everything for him and his children so to be tossed away like garbage and like I never existed to him has really been difficult to absorb. I've not tried to contact him for this long and he has not me either. I really didn't mean a thing to him. Understanding that is so hard.

I wrote this out and decided to post it in case there are others like me that are done with the relationship but still hurt by the end. Does the pain and hurt ever truly go away?