No Hoover? Awesome problem!

Taking a long bath enjoying the end of the a wonderful snow day due to dangerous cold. Six months NC and I feel the serenity of no drama. I was reflecting on having made it through the holidays without making contact or spending too much time wishing for a Hoover.

That's right there were moments I wish Narchole would send the silly Happy New Year text. It would pass but none the less there it was. What was I hoping for in these moments?

Then it hit me tonight that craving the contact is part if the addiction and the dysfunction. Five years I spent using this relationship to escape from my own crap, now I crave it, even miss the drama. After all, living clean and sober is not easy. He was a drug. I'm learning to let go and let goofy moments pass and not analyze the hell out if them.

Now, maybe for the first time I can look at relationships in a healthier way. Now I can stop personalizing the discard - he was disordered and I was addicted. It has nothing to do with me as a human being.

Amazing revelation.