I want to make it up to you

I had been with N for ten years then left him. After 7 years he came back into my life, said he wanted to make it up to me.He kept telling me to write down all the 'happy times' so that I wouldn't forget them and just remember the bad. Since I left him I have wondered why he asked me to do this, the only answer that came to mind was that it was like a receipt, he would give me good memories to pay off the bad:-

Good memories this time?
He took me out to eat at good restaurants but his best female friend came with us too. when she stopped he took me to fast food restaurants.
He won a holiday to London and took me with him. He complained constantly of how much he hated London and spoilt the entire holiday by acting like a petulant child, sulking and giving me the silent treatment.
We spent a wonderful afternoon together laughing and joking, the following day I discovered he had contacted an ex to try and meet up with her. His explanation was that he never really knew wether she wanted him or not and gave him a chase unlike me. He said probably nothing would have happened but he had opened the door to maybe something would.

Bad memories he wanted to erase:-

He called me by the name of an ex while we were having sex.
He gave me an STD
He abandoned me when I was 8 months pregnant because he needed some-one in his life without baggage. he didn't want more responsibility.
I gave birth to my daughter without him, she died shortly afterwards. He blamed me for not contacting him so that he could go to the funeral then said at least he had 2 daughters with his ex, maybe he could never have had any with me. He then had a vasectomy and became a serial cheat.

Did he make it up to me?

All he succeeded in doing was giving me more bad memories but I only have myself to blame. It's only now that I've found this site that I can understand what I allowed myself to fall into yet again but with the knowledge I'm gaining here I am getting stronger. It will not happen again. xxx