Short memory

I am one of those who has only realised aabout the chances he is a narcissist lately. I have 2 children, 5 and 11 months and no way out plan yet. He is an assistant pastor in a local church . He has been so nasty to me, and the silent treatment is going for over a month now. I asked him to looka after one of the kids so I could go to a wedding, and he said 'no'. (all via text and emails as we live in the same house but dont talk) . When I am cross with him, i kind of remember some bad things he did or said in the past. but when thinks are well or we are about to make up or sth I tend to forget it all. How do you cope with it?
I am remembering things frm around the time we were married(10 years ago) that really upset me.
I dont know if in this silence we are enduring he thinks he is in control and not talking to me. It is all so confusing and so annoying.We went through Christmas and new year without changing a word.