My Story Sillycat

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#1 Dec 12 - 5PM
Sillycat
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My Story Sillycat

In the last couple of weeks things have turn sour. Silence treatment at its peak, after few 'good' months.
Let me introduce myself:
I come from another country and me my husband are from the same country , so we are leaving abroad.
He met me when i was in my home town on holidays, from a course i was doing abroad.
In few days he proposed ( tied me to him as I was going to be living abroad as well) so my roller coaster life began.
We got married and are surviving together for the past ten years.
I thought he was borderline. Been reading a lot lately, but some of the things do not really make sense, but after finding npd it all makes sense.
He is a pastor, although only works as a youth worker at the moment. When I met him he was a pastor (very charming, good looking, intelligent). I am a strong believer who have been to counselling with him, and without him, to christians and non - christians. People who have seen the relationship have warned me, but I didnt listen.
So here I am with 2 children, really starting to feel the strain of this craziness in my health, so for my children, ( a boy 5 and daughter 10 months) i want to make a change.
I have tried to separate in the beginning, before the children, but he manipulated me to come back.
Now, I really have my eyes opened by so much in common he has with all i am reading here.
He is just like my father. My mother died when I was 7, of brain tumor, and my father was very abusive towards her.
I see my daughter's face and him being nasty to me I felt this is more than i am be able to cope, please give me a light, then I found the information here.
I live abroad and we own the house. I am out of work, because i am manipulated to do all the house chores and childcare without ANY help.
I was thinking its normal. But it is him getting to shape me how he wants me to be.
I am studying for a master in human rights, ironically.
He has been physically violent in the past, and I have a scar in my face.
I am not afraid of him anymore and need to take courage to separate, I am so confused in what it takes.
He has manipulated me into thinking I need him to survive, but i coped on my own for most of my life I just dont want to accept this in my life anymore.
He doesnt even look at me. Doesnt wash one dish, sleeps all day, play with children for 30 min every other day and is preaching beautifully at church making people have pity on him. I am so disgusted why I am living like this.
He flipped from about 2 weeks ago and has been silent or mistreating me since. In the beggining of the year, after our daughter is born he didnt speak with me for nearly 5 months.
How can i divorce him?
Shall i leave the house?
Can i use domestic violence from the past as a reason now?
Can the silence be used agains t him?
how do i deal with children?
Do i tell him i want to leave?
I am so confused, so angry. Pls any light is welcome!

Dec 13 - 8AM
spinning
spinning's picture

SC, sweetheart,

spinning

Dec 18 - 3PM (Reply to #2)
Sillycat
Sillycat's picture

Hi spinning thank you for