Lorelie123's Story part 1

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#1 Dec 11 - 6AM
Lorelie123
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Lorelie123's Story part 1

Ok. After 16 mos NC I am finally posting my story because I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM. Like any time my brain has a down minute, my mind just goes to review it all.

The bare facts:
We are both married to others. we shared a 28 month best, deepest romantic r/s of my life. Honeymoon lasted 24 months. He love bombed me for first few months, I.e. emails saying, "you are beautiful and the most complete woman I've ever met," and so much more!

Early red flags included: dodgy credit history. Not bankruptcy, but some kind of consumer proposal that meant he couldn't get a credit card. Also his relentless self-promotion. And thought patterns that revealed sleazy thinking, like trying to impress me with access to forged Rx for medicine for my daughters sick turtle. WTF?

Initially my gut thought there was something wrong w him because he was just so way over the top with his love so very soon. He couldn't know me well enough for the level of intensity. He was fun, charming, persistent. He called 5 times day...for 2 years! It was a constant communication one to the other. Like a marriage. He was my coach, my Svengali, he listened to me cry, inspired me to get a good job.

The sex was incredible, as he said, "spiritual, blissful' not to mention "playful, soulful."

It was when he finally got a better job, a really excellent job, at about 2 years into our relationship that I felt the last string of my resistance slip away. I was so into this guy its hard to explain. Like I was brainwashed. Like he was my heart and soul. And when I look back on it, that was when things started to change.

Our conversations were much more perfunctory, more like small talk. He started making passive aggressive cracks about my weight. I had gained about 10 pounds since we met, still, not fat and considered attractive.

He flirted w wait staff when we were out together. He just wasn't as attentive. I put it off to the heavy demands of getting used to his new job, and normal cycles in relationships.

Big red flag occurred when he went on a B trip and didn't call four 4 days, unheard of for us. He said, on his return, "look, you were the first person I called when I got back, do you want to see me or not? " I was addicted, hooked. I overlooked it.

Deep in my heart I feared that because he finally had me, that he didn't find me as interesting. That's a pattern I was used to from my younger days of dating. I think it speaks to core issues from my family.

Still, he was protecting his supply and doing what he knew he needed to do to hold me.

Part of the air we breathed together, the basic understanding we shared, was his constant refrain about his marriage, "we've agreed, as soon as the kids are in college, we're going separate ways" I heard this hundreds of times.

It was understood that I was less likely to leave my spouse. My husband and i have a great rapport and family life w the kids, but no sex life.

Then the unthinkable happened.

Dec 11 - 12PM
boomer14
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If we only followed our gut....