Liloleme story unsure!!!

I am thrilled I have found this site.Hi everyone here is my first post.
I have been with my husband for 10 years. At the beginning I was on a pedestal I thought I hit the jack pot with him.

I had my personal check list of what I wanted in a man and he matched up very nicely however, there was always

something in the back of my head saying "watch out". Anyways we had our normal arguments and broke up several times

prior to marriage and he would cry, tell me how wrong he was, please don't leave him, Send me flowers shower me with

gifts etc. Things would be great for a while but then fall apart again.I use to think things should not be this hard.

After the wedding (About 5 years ago)things had been miserable since. All of a sudden I was alone 95% of the time. He

wouldn't answer my calls tell me he was working and come home very late and gone on weekends for fishing trip. He

never wants to spend time with me. I am more of a nuisance to him now. He is the most selfish person I know. I don't

know how he looks at himself in the mirror. He swears up and down he has never cheated on me and I never have found

any proof. Allot of the signs match up to the article 'Why a Narcissist Inevitably Devalues & Discards (D&D) You" This

article has been an eye opener.

I recently found out he had "been" lying to me telling me he was at work when he wasn't. At strip clubs and who knows what else. Al those years of missing events waiting on him to come home. My whole life was on hold and I didn't even realize it. I lost friendships, depression, gain weight and lost who I was as a human being.

I also found out he had "been" doing drugs and was an alcoholic. He does drugs elsewhere and then comes home but would
drink at home till he passes out. Drugs or alcohol do not run in my family so I never noticed anything wow was I

clueless. He is what is called a functioning alcoholic. He admitted it was wrong to lie to me but that he did it

because had I known I would of never went out with him and it would of continued had I not tracked his sorry butt.

Here is my concern I am unsure if he is actually a Narcissist?? Because a lot what I am reading mentions the mate

gets mad and angry for trying to leave them. He told me when we separated last time he realized there was life after

me and so he does his magic drugs and forgets about me. Now if I try to talk to him about putting his marriage first

he gets so mad and tells me I am yelling at him and if I continue he will leave the house. He doesn't put me down with

words, like tell me I'm stupid or ugly or anything in fact he tells me the opposite that he knows I can find someone

better than him or he spends time at night thinking how I am better off with someone else. I am unsure if this is how

addicts are or is this part of narcissist personality disorder?

I plan to divorce him as soon as I get a job. I am learning a lot about codependency and working on me for the first

time in along time. I hate the fact it took me years to figure out what I was dealing with and what was going on.

Any feedback would be appreciated I am unsure if this is treatment from drugs and alcohol or narc behavior. I hope

this makes sense too.