I thought I was going crazy

I am so glad I found this website because I legitimately thought I was going crazy. My story is so much like all of you who have already shared. It is so strange to me how patterned narc’s actions are.
We’ll call my ex-n “E”. E and I met in April of 2012. He wasn’t my usual type, but I gave him a shot. I couldn’t believe how much interest he was showing so quickly. It was intoxicating. He was such a gentleman, so thoughtful, and romantic. I went into dating him with my eyes and ears wide open as I always had in the past, but he was passing the tests with flying colors! I explicitly remember remarking to my friend “he seems too good to be true!” He took me on real dates, we met each other’s’ friends and family (although I didn’t meet his daughter,) we took weekend trips, and he even asked me to move in with him. He absolutely charmed the pants off of me. Literally, haha.
His first silent spell was in June 2012. I text him as usual to say good morning, and I didn’t hear back from him. For 2 weeks, he kept this up. I figured his silence was my answer to what happened to the relationship, so I just text him something like “I don’t know why you’re ending things like this.” He eventually text me back something about being busy, etc. and apologized. I told him I’m not in the business of trying to force men into relationships and that if he didn’t want to be with me, I was ok to walk away. He assured me that he wanted to be with me, so we continued. All summer we had a fantastic time and I fell in love with him.
August 2012 was my first discard. Up to this point, I honestly hadn’t noticed any signs of devaluation. Maybe my rose-tinted glasses were too strong of a prescription. It was a Sunday afternoon and I hadn’t heard from him yet that day. I text him and he responded to me “Please don’t contact me again, I got back with my girlfriend.” I thought he was joking at first. I was his girlfriend! Who was this other girlfriend he was talking about?! I immediately felt sick to my stomach. I text him for the next week and he never responded.
From August to October 2012 were the hardest days of my life. I lost weight because instead of eating, I went to my car and cried during my lunch hour everyday. When I could actually sleep, I would awaken calling his name. I was so depressed I even contemplated swallowing a bottle of pills. Our short, but intense relationship had evaporated into thin air and I was grief-stricken and confused. I constantly replayed in my head what may have gone wrong. What had I done wrong? My friends tried to cheer me up, take me out, and help me forget. It didn’t work. The closure I needed to move past E had been withheld from me.
Halloween 2012 I went out to a local bar with friends. Lo and behold, E is working there as a bouncer. When I first saw him after these long months, I froze. I assured my friends I was ok, even though my heart was beating like a drum, so we stayed. Inevitably, E approaches me. He awkwardly shook my hand (as if we hadn’t seen each other naked before.) He told me how beautiful I looked and that he missed me. He asked if I could hang out after the bar closed, if he could call me. I was too drunk to process what was happening so I just stared at him as he talked. Of course I wanted to talk, but it was not the right time or place. My friend saw me being cornered, rescued me and we left.
About a week later, E calls me. We chatted at first, just catching up on each other’s lives. He was pushing to get back together, but I told him I wanted to think it through and take things slow this time. He agreed, so we started talking on the phone again for the next few weeks. I decided that I wanted to have a serious talk in person, so we arranged to meet. I mentally prepared all the questions I wanted to bring up to him. He walked in with a giant bouquet of roses. I asked him about the girlfriend, he assured me she was no one and that she was gone. I asked him what he wanted from our relationship. He told me that he wanted to us to be long-term. I asked him why he put me through so much pain. He told me he was scared of how quickly we were moving, but now he was sure what he wanted. I remember thinking how I wasn’t really satisfied with his answers. I should have gone with my gut and just moved on, but my broken heart screamed at me to try again. We jumped back into the relationship Nov. 2012.
At first, this time felt different in an amazing way. Before, we had only touched on each other’s stories, but he really opened up to me about his past this time. He told me more about his rocky relationship with his father, his time serving in Iraq/Afghanistan and the aftermath of his divorce from his ex-wife (of course she was the crazy one, red flag). He also let me see his mask start slipping. The red flags were so obvious. His self-obsession and grandiosity was at a whole new level. He verbally abused his friends, family, and even taxi drivers. He was so judgmental towards everyone. He frequently told me that we would no longer be hanging out with certain people, because we were too good for them. I felt so close to him, I tried to brush it off.
The holidays together were absolutely magical. I finally met his daughter, and I could really see us building a life together. Shortly after New Year 2013 he started devaluing me. He would point out to me women he thought were hot. He would be very dismissive of my thoughts and opinions. He criticized my life choices. I even noticed women who were blatantly flirting with him on FB. Finally, he discarded me. He stopped answering calls/texts, he deleted me as his FB friend, and deleted every image of us together on his FB. Within a week, he was uploading pictures of him and the new girl (I found out later it was the same girl from the summer) on FB. I was less shocked and sad this time. I was angry for being played a fool. I wrote him an undeservedly civil goodbye note, put everything I had that belonged to him in a plastic bag, and tossed it in the back of his truck.
The last time I saw him was January 2013. The last time I text him was in February. I feel like I’m over him, but it still stings to think about it. I’ve definitely learned a lot from this relationship. I think I’m at the point of being ready to start fresh with someone else, but I want to make sure I’m prepared so that I don’t fall for another narc. That thought genuinely scares me.
He’s recently started hoovering me over Thanksgiving. Apparently, he loves and misses me and thinks we should get married although he’s still listed as in a relationship with the same girl. That’s why I’m here. I maintained no contact up until this week and now I have slipped back into FB stalking. I appreciate any insight and support you all can provide. Thanks for listening.