my life with a female narcsisst

This is my story ...about 10 yrs ago I met someone from where I live who I thought was the answer to all my prayers and dreams ....I was a single father raising 2 small boys at the time and this lady was all I had ever dreamed of she was fun to be around loved life as much as I did was great with my boys and was a great homemaker ...anything and everything a guy could ask for ...for the first 3 yrs we were together I was the soul breadwinner I worked she stayed home took care of kids and house ...after that she got the itch for a job and a car ...so we went got a car I cosigned for it and she got a job to pay the note on it and everything pretty normal so far right ? Well the boys wanted to go live with their mother and I didn't want to deprive them of that experience ...shortly after that is when trouble started I know longer was receiving child support so money was tight ...her mother so she said was having problems at home and she thought it would be best if she moved back home and helped her I didn't think nothing of it cause if it was my mom i would have done same thing ...well so far so good ...3 weeks after she moved I called to see if she wanted to get together that weekend her mothers boyfriend answered phone said she wasn't there and wouldn't be back to middle of following week I was like huh what ??? I must mentioned I live in Tennessee she took off to look for a job in New Mexico no word to me no notice nothing ...she got the job moved out there I find out she traced down and ex husband who is a scientist out there and went to be with a man she hadnt gotten over so to speak well he was married and she played second fiddle for 18 months ...moved back home wanted to see me and maybe just maybe hang out be friends and see what develops I was so excited to be given the chance to at least try and work things out ...for six months I tried and she kept telling me she was happy with the way things were for the moment with us ...she moves 2 hours away no warning no notice no nothing ...I am like ok thats it I am so done and over all of this crap ..I will take the 7500.00 loss that she left me with move on and find someone else ...and I did someone nothing like but all I REALLY needed in my life ...loved me for who I was not what I had or could give them ...we got engaged and was fixing to be married in the fall of 2013 ...I was over the Narc and was moving on with my life I was really happy ...then 2 weeks before the end of last yr I get an email from the ex narc with photos of us when we were together all the great times and happy times we spent together talking about how we really were a great couple and wished me luck on my forthcoming marriage but she said it wouldn't work out eventually ...I freaked out ...she wanted to see me and talk about old times and just hang out ...I took the bait ...I went to see her two hours away spent the entire night listening to her tell me how sorry she was how she made a mistake and that I was right when I said karma would catch up to her...it did pretty bad ...I ended staying there for 2 days we didn't sleep together or have sex all she wanted to do was tell me how sorry she was and to please forgive her and lets try again ...for 2 days that's the way it was ...I'm thinking yeah shes learned her lesson and and has really changed this time ...I broke the relationship off with my soon to be ex fiancee ...I broke her heart and in the long run mine as well ...I never should have betrayed her because nine months later on 10-1-13 I was told by narc. that she had made a mistake 9 months ago and since having sex with her hurt so much she found me sexually unattractive and that all she wanted was to be friends now ..I am 50 yrs old and have never been told this ...let me say during the first couple months we were back together I was receiving insurance checks from my mothers passing an she was in a tight financial spot due to not working behnd on rent car problems etc etc so being so in love with her I took all that money got her rent caught up got car fixed too many things to mention here I took care of ...then after all of this I am not worthy enough to sleep with and be with all of the time ...now only when it was convenient for her ...a total of 8 yrs I was with here 10,000.00 dollars in debt I ended up filing bankruptcy because of it all...1 month after the I assumed was final words with her I get a call from her after my father passed away wondering if there was anything she could do and that she was sorry about my dad ...I told her yeah there was ...to continue her quest in finding someone more sexually attractive and with a larger bank account and to please leave my alone because I could no longer handle her narcissistic sociopathic ways ... she asked me not to be putting her down she was only trying to be nice and help during the loss of my father ...1 week after he was dead and buried shes gonna try and help yeah ok ...well now shes rubbing her new romance in my face shes found someone who makes 3 times more money than me albeit not better looking and I know we shouldnt pass a relationship on looks I never had ...and shes so happy with her new life ...I on the other hand have felt like Im spiraling out of control from all the hurt and emotional anguish ... everything I did I did out of love for her and only wanted what I thought to be best ...I havent heard from her since I told her not to bother me anymore ...but the last thing I said was once youve punched your ticket on the karma express it will come into your station alot harder and faster than before and all she could say was oh well guess if it happens it happens ....so heres the thing if narcs follow a cycle and this looks like a narc cycle tome ..after all the fun and games of her new life wear thin am I going to have to deal with this again ... Ive seen a therapist and am working on trying to get my life back to some what normal ...but sometimes things happen to people that they wont ever be the same ...this is one of those things ...thanks for reading and any support or words of advice would be really great ...thanks again