Wokeup's story

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#1 Oct 21 - 12PM
Wokeup
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Wokeup's story

I had just moved to a new city fresh from my separation from my wife. I was enjoying being single and approached life and work in a very calm and relaxed manner. I was set in a great career, made good money, was well educated, so life was good. The one thing missing was a good woman in my life. On one of my work trips, I met a coworker, and the attraction was immediate. We ended up together that night in her room and I was instantly hooked by her. She gave me her number and the texting started. She played a bit hard to get but I kept pursuing her and we eventually started dating, she was about in the same place in life as me and was also separated (from an N, as I would discover later). She had a son that also exhibited N tendencies as well, I certainly didn't know the complete story yet and wouldn't find out until I was totally hooked. She seemed to be the answer to all my wishes, the perfect woman. As I reflect, there were signs that I should have caught, like she going absent for a day and half several times during the 11 months with the phone being off so she couldn't be reached. She used the turning off of the phone as a tool for control and to limit communication until she was ready to talk to you. In any case, her husband kicked out their son and he came to her to live, I ended up paying for the airline ticket to get him out quick. At that point, her and I were discussing moving in, so at the end of that year, around Christmas, I moved into her place and inherited a family. I didn't mind because my kids were grown up and in college. But as soon as I moved in, the troubles began shortly after, the typical abuse with being hot and cold, telling me one day she loved me, but the next day, she wasn't sure. One day after we had been intimate, she told me about another man and perhaps she was in love with him, but if she had a choice she would pick me because I'm the best thing in her life and the best man to ever walk into her life as well. This really threw me off and I believe my insecurities and trust issues started at that point. She pulled many of the same moves that everyone here has mentioned and it contributed to me being unbalanced and remaining ever working harder to keep her happy. We had 4 vacations in a 6 month period because I thought getting her mind to relax would help her be happy again, but it would only work for a while and she would be back to being abusive through her anger. She would say very angrily that I asked too many questions. I just wanted answers to simple things that most couples do in a relationship. A few months after moving in she started to get calls from another man, a coworker, one day I asked who had called her last nite when we were enjoying wine with her and her sister, she told me a lie and said it was someone from the company calling about her leave of absents. Well I had proof so I called her on it and she went crazy, saying that he is just a coworker and nothing else. At that point I took it at face value and she convinced me that I was wrong. Well these calls continued and eventually as I would find out later on, she was having an affair with a married guy, her new Supply. Eventually this issue broke us up, and I moved out, but she kept coming back to me over the next few months and we would have great sex, and she would tell me you're the best thing in my life and then disappear for days at a time with no phone contact. She accidentally gave me a copy of her cell phone bill along with my mail one day and I saw phone calls from this guy to her all over with long conversations for hours at a time, I called her on it and to reassure me again, she said she has no problem breaking contact with him and He is just a friend, I once again bought into it because of her methodically lowering my expectations and conditioning me to maintain in her chaos and constant confusion. Fast forward to last week and the eventual Discard came, she spent two days at my apartment and I dropped her off on Friday evening at her place, Saturday she texted me and we talked, we were supposed to go to Vegas to relax and suddenly she changed her mind and got angry with me when I got upset. I told her not to talk to me with anger and perhaps it's time to end this because of her lack of respect. A few hours later, the texts started about how I was the best in her life, but I ignored the texts, then a few hours later she sent me another text about some tragedy in her family and I called her to console her. Funny thing is while I was consoling her, later I found out, she was just about to get on a flight to see her new supply. That was the last time I heard from her. When I found out about the flight, I texted her and said, I don't want to see or hear from her again and I know what she has been up to. Again, have not heard since. Her new supply lives in another city and she has been with him since last week between her work trips and days off. I guess it's finally over and I need to figure out how to move on. In retrospect there were so many signs of her PD and being an N that I simply was conditioned to overlook them as I was trying to get back to what we had initially. It still haunts me that she simply discarded me like a machine and off she went to another man. There are so many mixed emotions that it's been hell getting through the last week. Thank God I found this website and see so much of her and my experiences over the past year and half in others, and it does give me hope that things will get better over time. But I would be lying if I said I don't want her to contact me, because I do, yet I don't want any contact at all at the same time. I don't know how I will react if she ever contacts me again, but hope that I have the guts to simply ignore it.

Oct 21 - 1PM
NYgirl21
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Wow...well yeah there are

Oct 21 - 1PM
Done sourcing
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You ended up in her room the

Oct 21 - 2PM (Reply to #2)
Wokeup
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Thanks for the feed back,

Oct 21 - 4PM (Reply to #6)
Done sourcing
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No doubt they have cold

Oct 21 - 3PM (Reply to #5)
NYgirl21
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Oh, and... there is no

Oct 21 - 2PM (Reply to #3)
NYgirl21
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She will be back!

Oct 21 - 3PM (Reply to #4)
Wokeup
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Thank you Sky, I decided to