k0726's story

My Story..

This is my first post. I think I posted my story in the wrong place the first time.

I met the N14 months ago, as with everyone else Phase 1 which lasted about 4 months excitement, adoration, spent lots of time. I was told I was not his usual type, so I felt special in some weird type of way. When I met N, I was already at a vulnerable time in my life, I never healed from my previous long term relationship and I rebounded in order not to feel the pain. I was in process of moving into a new place and of course the N said he would be there for me, help me move, spend time at my new place and guess what? He did none of the above. The only time he spent at my place was in my bed.
After month 5 I began to experience silent treatments, the first time was on Valentine's Day because I expected for him to spend that day with me, instead he spent the day before. That silent treatment lasted for 30 days (Exactly) I wonder if he counted them and I believe he only contacted me because he heard that I moved on to dating someone else.He contacted me by sending me a picture of his grand daughter after a project he finished.
I went back against my better judgement after waiting 10 days. I knew back then I should have left. March, April, went okay, but back to being elusive, silent treatment etc. Then I started to get bacterial infections every time I slept with him. I never got them before which led me to believe he picked them up from a new partner. (That explains the hiatus and disappearing act.) I begged him to go back to the way he use to be sent letters at least twice a month, baked cakes, I did everything short of sending him a telegram trying to see the fake him. In May he was in a car accident and I witness the accident he almost killed himself. He races cars on the side but holds an executive position. The first two days I stayed by his side at the hospital bought him magazines, ipad, gave him money $1,000 and then he told me not to come back up without calling. I believe he stayed 4 more days and I didn't hear from him the remaining of the time. I believe its because he didn't want me to run into any of his other women and he wanted to hit on the nurses. Imagine the hurt and pain I felt after witnessing him almost lose his life, and wanting to be by his side only for him to kick me away like a stray dog. By this time, I was begging again for his attention, I had no one to turn to who would understand by grief and pain, yet the one I felt the pain for had completely discarded me. He was receiving so much attention that he didn't need mine. Yet he make double the money I make and never once offered to pay my money back.
This went into May and June, I guess the attention started to wear off and he decided to bless me with his presence again. silent treatments on and off for 3 months, it was so confusing and painful. I couldn't conceptualize how someone I loved so much and adored could treat me this way.
Month July his sister died of cancer, once again I was there for him and his family. I was there when she took her last breath along with his immediate family. I stayed with his sisters family for a week to help prepare for the funeral, visits, help with the kids, money, food etc. He ignored me at the funeral. I figured he was just grieving, and he told me in advanced that people grieve in their own way. I guess that's why he had a woman at his house until 3am in the morning. He told me it wasn't what I thought. I can't believe how stupid I was at that time. I saw several different women cars in his drive way at night but I decided to stay anyway somehow feeling I was special or different from them because I was the one he took out in public, dinners, etc. WRONG
My birthday was in late July, and he bought me something that cost under $100. His friend said with all you done to help and support him this guy should have bought you diamond earrings. I was in denial, and hurt beyond belief. I also finally faced the realization that he is a text book narcissist. I have attempted to break up at least 20 times only to go back, he always let me go without a fight. August and September spent NC 3 weeks and back in between so the longest time of NC was a month. My final realization was when I told him I love him and he didn't respond. I asked him the next day why he didn't respond and he said he didn't feel like it. I still slept with him that day, there is something wrong with me. After he slept with me he told me how he knew he was messed up and how his emotions doesn't match his actions. He said he is better than he was in the past but the best thing he could do is walk away now when he gets angry or hurt. He said he doesn't want to feel anymore pain in his life. He said he couldn't even explain why he use to get so angry because it didn't match up to his response, and he told me this after we slept together. It was customary that after we had these moments of sleeping together and talking that I wouldn't hear from him for days.
He married the same woman twice and have been divorced from her for 13 years, he occasionally brings her up basically saying he was in love with a "b..tch" he couldn't stand. I always thought what did she have that made him marry her TWICE? I couldn't even get him to commit to going out of town. Lets just say, I am tired, depressed, exhausted, vaginal infections and $9,000 short later.