Support Desperately Needed

I am trying to be NC. It is harder than I thought it to be. I have done writing to help alleviate the questions in my mind but I feel so weak so I'm asking for support.

Divorce is filed, things are calming down for me. Now it's just a matter of time and waiting for the legal break from him. As long as he leaves me alone I feel okay. I admit that I still secretly wait for a text from him, not sure why.

Here is my current dilemma. Received two texts from him yesterday, first telling me that he misses me, second asking if we can get back together. I didn't respond to either. Have not blocked his number yet because we are still working on divorce details so it goes through the court uncontested (or it's an excuse not to cut him off yet).

I haven't had any dreams since he left. Last night I had two. First we were in a boat that was gaining water. He began telling me how to correct the situation. I was sitting back unconcerned about the sinking vessel. In the second dream I was checking his text messages to OW where he was reminiscing about their shared kiss.

So here I am today devising a way to see him. We have a summer home in the mountains. I thought about going there for the weekend and telling him to meet me there.

Separating my head, which knows it's a bad idea, from my heart, which wants a temporary fix, is driving me crazy.

Please share some advice.