My child subjected to N abuse. Physical and Emotional by her father.

Exnh abusing my daughter the way he abused me.

He is mildly violent, enough to scare the crap out of her, dominate, and control - but not enough to leave bruises or be considered child abuse or neglect by Child Protective Services.

My question is about how to advise my child on how to survive it. It seems her choices are to submit or stand up to him. She's a little mini me. She's standing up to him, or defying his control, or something to make him furious. He's abusing her the same ways he abused me.

I expect this will be a long road. Going to court over this would be a disaster. He out monies me and he is happy to waste as much $ as possible. Wasting my $ is one of his favorite ways to abuse me post-divorce. He is a high status white male so nobody is going to take his child away from him. He will probably never cross that line with her.

This is more like, what do I say to my child about his behavior, what it means, and what she can do to withstand it?

She doesn't want to be there at his house. She wants to be with me.

So far, the abuse is considered bad parenting, and is not deemed reportable to Child Protective Services. (according to the public school guidance counselor).

I am literally SICK over this. Physically ill. It's this weird flashback situation, back to the abuse I endured during the marriage. But now my daughter is the target.

I'm having a hard time understanding the situation that we are in.