Life after the trauma

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#1 Aug 19 - 8PM
creativeme
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Life after the trauma

I am very thankful to have come across this site. I have visited it frequently for about a year and finally decided to join. It was a relief to find a forum with so many who have gone through the same experiences I had.

I am in my mid 40s. I married the same narc not just once but twice. I thought he had changed, he had not. As time went on I saw a horrific person that I really barely knew.
The relationship spanned more than two decades between dating, going our separate ways dating and then marrying twice. I see now what a superficial relationship it was the whole time.

My husband was/ is a pathological liar. The kind whom lies for no reason at all and the truth would suffice. He didn't care who he lied to or what he lied about. It seemed second nature to him.

He was emotionally, psychologically and financially abusive. Over an extended period of time I found myself completely dependent on him. I became at stay home mother even though I have an advanced education. We have a special needs child whom I chose to homeschool.

The mind games, lies, manipulation and controlling behaviors were relentless, all the while pretending to be
the ideal husband and father.

Long story short, the gas lighting escalated when he suspected I was going to leave him. I did leave. My son and I were temporarily homeless as a result. My spouse
went on with his life even though his wife and child were living in a shelter.

Two years have passed and I have started to have some resemblance of a life again. I still homeschool my son, work part time and plan to pursue more education.

My question for this forum is about coping, surviving and thriving after the trauma. I do believe I suffered from PTSD from the long term abuse and the heightened abuse that he thought would keep me there.

Do any of you attend support groups, see mental health professionals? Has anyone tried to obtain disability benefits?

I went into a severe depression am on antidepressants and finally on the third try found a good Christian therapist.
There are some days I see my progress and others I just want to curl up in a ball.

I am not yet divorced. I plan to do so when I am financially able to, which in itself creates some anxiety. He shows little interest in our son.

Getting away, staying away and having no contact was the best thing that could have happened for me.

Aug 21 - 1AM
creativeme
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Each day is a new day and an abuse free day :)

Aug 20 - 8AM
Trixy
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welcome creativeme

Aug 21 - 12AM (Reply to #3)
creativeme
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Thank you Trixy

Aug 20 - 6AM
Goldie
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Hi welcome to the forum