Angele620's Story

I'm worth more

I'm having a little difficulty getting over my ex Narc he has tormented me for years. Let’s go back to the beginning. I have had self esteem issues from as long as I can remember. I have been over weight all of my life and also now looking back I think my father God rest his soul may have been narcissistic himself. (which my ex in so many ways reminds me of my father). When I met the Narc I had just had a child with a man that got locked up on sum serious charges and was so was going away for a long time. When I met him I vulnerable I had lost my picture perfect family. And he stepped in. Helped me care for my daughter like it was his own. And till this day still throws it in my face. When I met him I had a great job that I loved and made good money by the time we had broken up for the first time I had lost my job and apartment due to his actions (stealing from me, driving me away from my friends and family)
He would leave me at the drop of a hat with no regard for my feelings. Disrespected me every chance he got. My life revolved around him if he was in a bad mood he would terrorize me And still I was soo in “love with him”. I could never understand why???? Why dose he put me through this if he doesn't love me why doesn't he leave??? This went on for years we would be together for a few months till he sucked me dry financially emotionally and every other way he could. We would break up he would disappear. Making me feel even more empty then the last time . I was away the last time from him for like 6 mos and had found a great caring loving man that treated me great. Started working again things were great. Then the terrorist reappeared saying I was the only one he wanted and he wanted to be a family again. Not one of my family or friends could stand him nor liked the way he treated me… and they never knew the extent of how he really was. But me like an idiot again I took him back. He still didn’t treat me well always criticizing me, calling me names, but he had improved a little proposed to me on Christmas and tattooed my name on his neck. Soo for me I would rationalize my feelings saying hes changing he really dose love me. But everyday I starved for his attention, suspected he was cheating ect.
I thought we needed a change and moved to a different city far away from all of the “issues” that I felt were handicapping our relationship…. Still a little more improvement but all in all I always knew I could find someone who really loved and respected me.. he would always say you bitch too much, I don’t want to be around you cuz u complain about everything. But my points were valid I would cook , clean, pay the bills take care or “our daughter” all alone while he was out with his friends all day.
All in all he has done so many horrible things to me its too much to even fathom or explain. So the other day aprox. A week ago I snapped when he tried using my daughter against me ( not the first time). I had asked him to please leave as I had become to the realization that he wasn’t adding any value to my life. And I couldn’t deal with it anymore. He called the police on me telling them I abuse my daughter telling my daughter to tell them that I smack her in the face and throw her around when I’m mad. He said if he cant be with her he would make sure I never saw her again. Well I guess he tried and failed I have never laid a had on my daughter and have no problem if DCFS comes and investigates I am a great mother, aside from the fact that I allowed this monster come in my life and stay as long as he did!!

I know I'm finally done with him and now hes trying to trow it in my face that he is with my friend that I suspected he was cheating on me with. But really I’m not mad. I thank her for taking him off of my hands.

I know its going to be a rough road but I thank all of you on this site. You actually gave me the strength to leave him. I started reading stories on this site like a week before I finally gave him the boot, Long over due!!!!

Really hope I never go back!!!!!!!!!!