Emotionalrollercoaster's Story

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#1 May 28 - 3PM
Emotionalroller...
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Emotionalrollercoaster's Story

Caught ex on dating website

Here's my story again...in detail, so I can let it out...let the pain, the hurt, the anger, and the sadness out...I met who I thought was the love of my life 8 years ago. He came on strong and asked me out incessantly, and I finally gave in. During what you call the honeymoon period, he lavished me with gifts, flowers, and yes even a trip to Cabo Mexico for my birthday. During this time my parents were going through a terrible divorce and I was not on speaking terms with my father and he promised me I would be safe with him and he would never hurt me how my father hurt my mother. We became inseparable and 9 months later we moved into an apartment together. Things were going great but then the alarm bells starting sounding off little by little and I ignored the warning signs. Next, we moved down the street into a town home. This is when the alarm bells really began to ring. He signed up for facebook and when he fell asleep on the couch, I grabbed his laptop to use. When I opened it, I saw a message between him and his college friend, telling her he was single and trying to meet up with her. By the way, 8 years together and he never allowed me to be his facebook friend. Shortly thereafter, I found him on a dating site. When I confronted him, he told me he was told to look up the profile of his high school friend who was on there and wanted to make fun of her for being desperate that she was on a dating website. I ignored these signs and we moved forward in our relationship. A year later, he began getting text messages from a woman he claimed to work with. I thought it was odd, but he reassured me she was just his friend. BAM!! Shorty after, he one night told me he was breaking up with me, there was no one else, he just needed time to sort out his life. Three weeks later he came back to me and I discovered there was someone else. He met a woman months prior and built an emotional connection with her and dumped me for her. He promised she meant nothing and I told him he could no longer speak to her as our relationship depended on it. He said and I quote, " the grass isnt greener on the other side". Well next thing you know, right before we were headed on a weekend vacation with friends of his, this woman texted him something in a sexual manner. He proceeded to tell me he had no control over her and she liked him and wasn't giving up. He promised he ended all contact with her. Things went back to normal again. Only recently did I find out that during this time that he promised he was not in contact with her, that he installed an app on his phone where she could call and text him and it would show up. There conversations were kept hidden in an app that was designed to look like a weather app. What hurts is that we went on vacation a few weeks after he installed this app. We were discussing our future, marriage, children. Fast forward to last summer. We went on a weekend vacation together and he insisted that he turn his phone off at night. When I asked him why he turned his phone off at night for a long time and that I think he is hiding something, he told me " I love you so much and I cherish you and I would never jeopardize our relationship again like I did a few years ago". So with that said, I dropped it but my gut told me something was off. That week in July he headed to Florida for business and a few days after he came home I was very ill and was in the restroom a lot. I decided to grab his iPad to pass the time between vomiting. It opened to his Facebook with a message between him and his friend asking for a woman who lives in the southeast US to investigate whether she is married or not. My heart sank. I went into his phone and found he had been on a dating website and not only was this woman from the southeast on this site, I saw pictures she sent to him and I saw conversations he had with many other women on this site. I had a flashback because. Remember seeing a message a year earlier pop up from a woman from this site and he said it was a social networking site. Then there was a time where we came home from the dentist a year and a half ago and a woman facebook messages him with a fake profile asking him if he was real and if he was married. And the woman knew my name!!! I Immediately went into his email and I saw emails between him and another woman from the southern east coast while we WERE ON A ROMANTIC VACATION in the Caribbean in may of 2012. NOt only were we on vacation, but we went to a jeweler there to buy an engagement ring!!!!!! Not only was I ill at the time, but this sent me into full blown vomiting. I confronted him and I moved out. He begged me to go to counseling with him and I did. He said none of those women meant anything to him and was was bored and wanted attention. IN counseling he promised to end contact with the woman from the southeast. A month later in October I found him looking up plane tickets for her home town to where he was doing business. He swore he never met her and he was "helping" her because her husband was abusive and she needed a shoulder to cry on. The last couple of months we had been trying to work on things together and spending time being intimate and doing fun things together. This all ended when I caught him on match.com again. He deactivated his account and two months later I saw he was back on and changed his location so he wasn't searchable in our area which is the northeast. FINALLY, last month I ended things with him when he told me the woman from the southeast who was supposed to be blocked all this time from his phone called him from her girlfriends phone. Since then, he contacted me while I was out west visiting family and told me he did love me and was looking for wedding rings last month and that I BLEW IT WITH HIM because I nagged him while he was on vacation with his guy friends to ask about the dating website. I now find out that he has been sending this woman from the southeast gifts. During this whole time he told me I was imagining things but I knew better and I saved all our texts message conversations and took screen shots on my phone of his online dating websites, ect. My life with he was fake and phony and now he is on to his next victim to use her as supply to feed his ego. My therapist told me the only reason he is choosing a woman so far away from him is because it does not require them to see one another a lot and no string attached. This is the same pattern I saw with the first woman who he used to send gifts to as well. I am happy that I am young and I am getting out of this crazy life with him and thankful everyday I am not married nor have children with him.

May 28 - 3PM
Emotionalroller...
Emotionalrollercoaster's picture

Let me add that he sent me

May 28 - 3PM (Reply to #2)
spinning
spinning's picture

Well, ER, one thing's for sure

spinning

May 28 - 7PM (Reply to #3)
Emotionalroller...
Emotionalrollercoaster's picture

Confused