Free Indeed's Story

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#1 May 26 - 11AM
Free Indeed
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Free Indeed's Story

Professing to be a Christian

Whom The Lord has set free, is free indeed John 8:36
My journey has been a long one, and continues daily, but it is one of great testimony. I am a born again, spirit fill Christian & would have never in a million years believed any of this a year ago.
I met my N husband on a Christian dating site. I did not know that I still had so many lessons to learn about myself, as I thought I had things very much 'together' in my life. He portrayed himself as a believer and I fell for it hook, line & sinker. I had prayed for a Godly man & he seemed to fit all the criteria. It was a whirlwind courtship, he lived 1,000 miles from me but we spent hours&hours talking on the phone. I told him everything about me, my life, my dreams, my desires, my past....everything. He seemed to good to be true but I ignored the red flags & believed he was the answer to all my prayers. He had come from a past that was very sad (played to my empathic side) he had been given up for adoption when he was 5, his adoptive parents (Mom in particular) was very verbally abusive to him, his adoptive Grandfather, whom he adored, had porn magazines everywhere & introduced him at the age of 6 because the magazines were left everywhere, his 1st wife of 18 years was a 'slut' (his word) & she left him for another man. His story was heart wrenching, and I, of course, believed it all, as he had found "god" (yes with a small 'g' I now know). We were married within 6 months of meeting on line. He moved to my town, my house (I have a very good paying job, owned 2 houses & was quite well-to-do) & I truly was the happiest woman in the world. My N husband was a master at love bombing & gave me everything (that I now know that I believed was missing from my life). Our 1st year of marriage was incredible. I even remember telling him that on our 1st anniversary.."if this is what the rest of our lives will be like, I am the most blessed woman on the face of this earth"
Then my world began to fall apart, I found out that he had been viewing porn on the computer. He was able to give me a very valid reason for this and I believed him. Finding this out about him absolutely rocked my world and took me out at the knees because I had never experienced porn but he wore the 'christian' hat and knew exactly what to say.
We were a blended family, as each of us had been married before. Blended families were (at that time were one of the hardest things I thought I had to live through). We began to fight alot about each others kids. My N began to isolate me from my family and friends. It was so so very subtle, I didn't even realize it was happening but the words he used and the things he would tell me, made me believe in him, and remember, I was the happiest women in the world!!
When I met him, he was self-employed and very much an entrepreneur. He was trying to get a small business going and I was the 'money pit' that could make this happen. I truly did believe in his invention, and of course being the submissive wife, I stood behind my husband. He had claimed bankruptcy the year(another red flag I ignored) before I met him, so EVERYTHING was in my name, the bank loans, the credit cards, the new business that we opened...everything. I mortgaged and re-mortgaged both my homes, cashed in all my saving and gave it all to him, so that he could get his business up and running. It never was successful and I just could never understand why. I prayed and prayed and asked The Lord to bless it but it just never happened. I could not understand it (although I certainly do now). In February of 2012 his ex-wife took him to court and she was awarded child support. When he retuned home for going to court (which he had to go back to his home town) I told him that there was absolutely no way that I could afford to pay his child support. I was basically on the verge of bankruptcy myself. I told him that he would have to go and get a job so that he could meet his obligations as a father. He believed he was always "to good" to work for a measly $25.00/hr and refused. Finally in April of 2012 we decided that he would move to another province, which is booming with jobs and big money and would work hard, send money home to help pay 'our' debts. He ended up moving in with my sister and brother-in-laws, whom are pastors, we had had a falling out with after our 1st year of marriage because of words that were spoken (another long story that I won't get into) but my sister agreed to let him live there rent free (just to help me out).
Last summer where the darkest days of my life. My N husband began to totally isolate me from his life, he convinced me that I was crazy, and YES, I did many many crazy things last summer to prove that I wasn't crazy!!!! I truly was suicidal and "he" almost took me out. As it turned out he never made a dime while living there and decided to 'try' it back in his home town. He returned back to me for a week in the fall, just to regroup and get gas money to go. Our marriage was falling apart faster than I could blink but I was still totally committed to my husband.
Now here is where the hand of God truly began to 'show' me things. It is almost too hard to even believe it, but God knows what it had to take to convince me.
My N had purchased an Iphone in April 2012 before he moved away the first time. I purchased one in Sept 2012 while he was back for that week. He set up my phone for me and gave us a shared "Apple" account so that we could share the same music and would not have to buy the ITunes twice. A month after he left in the fall, I began to get all his "stuff" showing up on my phone....passwords to a 'christian' dating site he was on, his to-do list of items he had to pack to go see the women that he was going to meet from this site, yes candles, bubble-bath to name a few. His emails to these ladies stating how much he loved them, wanted to marry them and start a new family with them and their children. I thought that discovering him on a porn site brought me to my knees, this took me out at the ankles (lol). He is now engaged to OW, even though we are still married and continues to portray himself as a very godly, christian man. The bible tells us, so a man reap, he will sow. This has been an extremely hard 'thing' for me to hang on to, trust and believe because to be completely honest with you, I want him to crash & burn big time!!! But the bible also teaches us "vengeance is mine, saith The Lord"
It's hard to keep this short and write about the last 6 years of your life being in a relationship with a psychopath but the biggest point that I wanted to get across to someone reading this, is that I, as a Christian woman searched and searched for information and stories about so called christian men, doing this and living the lie of being a godly man. In the beginning, I even dismissed him as being a N because I 'wouldn't' allow myself to believe that a so called child of God would do this to another human being, all the while still professing to be a born again Christian. I truly believe that I have a 'story' to tell and share with others to help bring healing, hope and faith.
God Bless <><

May 31 - 5PM
Journey
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Free Indeed, welcome to the

Journey on...

May 27 - 10AM
Joy2me
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My ex claimed to be a Christian too!

May 27 - 12PM (Reply to #6)
Free Indeed
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Joy2me

May 27 - 10AM
Lisa1229
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Christians

May 27 - 12PM (Reply to #4)
Free Indeed
Free Indeed's picture

Christians

May 27 - 6AM
murphyagnes (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Con-Artist

May 27 - 8AM (Reply to #2)
Free Indeed
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Thank you