Emotionalrollercoaster's Story - pt 1

Is he a narcissist?

My relationship with my now ex began 8 years ago. He was six years my senior and pursued me intensely. I was a little shy but I finally caved and accepted a date. He swept me off my feet and we became inseparable. He came on really strong in the beginning and I was in awe at how much someone could care about me. Things were great for the first year. We moved in together 9 months later and things began to change. It first began with the fighting which escalated into shoving. A year later, after we bought a town home, I saw him on match.com as he left his computer open. He said he was looking at his high school friends profile to see what a joke she was. Then months later, he left his Facebook open and I saw a message to a college friend with her asking him what was going on in his life. He said he was single and it was just him and his dog. After that passed, a year later, he told me he was breaking up with me. Behind my back, he met a woman who worked in the same field as him, built an emotional connection with her, and dumped me for her. Three weeks later, I took him back as he said the grass isn't greener and I feel for it. I had asked him to stop talking to her so we could heal our relationship. He claimed they were just friends. Well I saw a text message months later that indicated otherwise. Then about a year later I saw a message on his phone from a dating site called badoo. He claimed it was a social networking site. Next thing I knew, I felt something wasn't right, went into his phone and saw he was messaging women telling them how beautiful they are, even emailing a woman from SC, while on vacation. In the Bahamas with me in May of 2012, calling her pet names, telling her he was 6 hours time difference, which wasnt the case. What was hurtful is that he was about to buy my an engagement ring during our trip. The week before our trip we were looking at houses to buy. I then saw him asking a friend to look up if a woman from Mobile Alabama was divorced. She too was on badoo dating site. I saw pictures she sent him on his phone. I immediately moved out and he quickly begged me to go to counseling. I agreed under the condition that all contact needs to cease between any of these women. Two months into counseling I found him searching for flights to his business trip location from the town one of the woman lived in. He swore she wasn't going to meet him, he was curious about the plane ticket price. Before he pleaded with me and told me he blocked the woman from Alabama from calling him, he got so angry i went into his comouter than he physcially assalted me for the 8th time since i knew him. Next thing I know I see his profile on match.com with a different location set as his hometown. All of this happening while asking me to move to Texas with him. My life for years has been filled with heartbreak., confusion, emotional and physical abuse. I have left him a month ago but it still hurts. He still tried to tell me he will always love me and wants me to be happy. Even had his mother tell me two weeks ago that he was going to propose. As I sit here and write this I am physically sick hearing my story as I type it. Why did I stay so long? He constantly has women lined up to take my spot and these other women do not know about me or the others. Even one of his dating profiles was cut and copied from someone else. Why does it hurt so much even though I know he is an awful person?