HealinWithin0309's Story

Deja Vu..all over again

I'm new to this site and its amazing to know that I'm not alone in this journey. I met my NARC at work, i would see him every now and then but this particular day I said something to him and we sparked up a conversation. The conversation led to us exchanging numbers because he was actually getting a new job that Monday. He called at weekend and set a date that Sunday. The date was unbelievable, he was a gentleman, attentive, too good to be true. We spent countless times together, on the phone, lunch dates (new employment was within walking distances from me) and it was wonderful.. He knew the right things to say, to do, was attentive to me needs, etc. he would also call his baby mother a NARC all the time..but would never talk bad about his ex whom he broke with three months prior to us meeting...i never got the full story behind the break up which was strange, but he would often talk about her a lot. So much so, that I told him he a lot baggage and unresolved issues with her. Talk about all the red flags were there.

Fast forward-then one day I told him, I love you...He didn't respond at first, which I thought was odd, but I shrugged it off and didn't say it anymore until two days before New Year's Eve and he responded saying he loved me too.. Then first incident of discard happened..he disappeared all weekend and I shrugged it off thinking he was in a mood, because I know I get into them sometimes. I reached out and he responded offering no explanation. Then he disappeared again this time from two weeks, i had NC during that time, but feeling i need closure and reached out via email, saying how he hurt me, that he possessed All the traits of a NARC, etc. and all he could say was that I'm not a phone person..during this time, I found out he had a foreclosure on a place he never mentioned he owned, charges from his baby mothers (theft) and still stayed..

We then we to Vegas for his birthday on my dime.. I had already paid for the trip and was On The verge of canceling during the two week hiatus but decided not do. So we went, Everything after that was going okay, but it just wasn't the same as he put a bad taste in my mouth and I couldn't quite figure him out thus yet. Then come march For my birthday, he manage to get me a Bottle of perfume and dinner which he didnt even make reservations for, the next day was brunch with my family and he told me after dinner that night, that his daughter great grandmother died in alabama and he would have to go see her in VA because he called him upset. Needless to say he left and I didn't hear from no more that day.. The texts stopped coming, and the only contact was me initiating it..the disappearing would be every month since November with the finally one being march 24..which His daughters mom blocked his phone number from his daughters phone.. When I questioned him about it, he said I would tell me about it later. I sent him a text.. Saying that I felt like I couldn't compete with his daughters mom and His ex. That was the last contact... Feeling like I needed closure once Again, I sent him an email yesterday saying how he was a coward, never really loved me, how he criticized me when i used incorrect grammar etc. and after I sent it, I felt bad BecAuse I should have never gave him that much energy..
Needless to say he didn't respond.

Now I feel today I feel worst than ever..doubting my self worth.. It hurts like hell because after two years I decided to open up my heart again and look what happens.. Don't know how to move forward or where to begin..to did buy Lisa's book today..which I guess is the first step. I also blocked all his numbers tonight...