I got into law school........

.......and all I can think about is how I hope he finds out and maybe, just maybe might want me again..... At least regret that he ever let me go? I don't know what I want. I don't know why I want him to know, but I'm as so ashamed of myself I almost didn't post this! I can not believe what I have turned into. This has been a life long dream and like everything else he touched its soured. Why? Why would I ever ever ever want to even consider being with him again. I know logically it would never even be possible. I could never get back together with him. Why am I so desperate for his approval? Where has my self worth gone? I don't recognize myself anymore. It breaks my heart that I allowed someone to break my spirit so badly. Worst of it all, I was so busy trying to make him happy, I didn't even notice. There is no other word to describe what I feel, shame shame shame on me. How could I let him rob me of everything I was. How can my heart break anymore than it already is!?