txgrl429's story

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#1 Mar 20 - 12PM
txgrl429
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txgrl429's story

Here is my story

Greetings everyone.. I am new here and this is my story.

Four years ago I was going through a difficult time I my life. My marriage was falling apart and I was at the point of leaving my husband and filing for divorce. An ex-boyfriend of mine that I was crazy about reached out to me during this time. He was living in another state. We started talking at first it was just normal friendly conversation. He would tell me about how him and his wife had decided to part ways that his marriage was not working and that he was only with her because of the kids. What started off as friends quickly started taking a turn into something more. We started talking about the what if’s and started to talk about having a relationship and him leaving his wife and kids to move to be with me. He started needing money so I started sending him money on a regular basis. So after a year of us having a relationship at a distance he left and moved to be with me. At first, he didn’t tell his wife that he was leaving because he had someone else he simply told her that he was leaving and he was going to live with his father (his family lives in the same state as I do). His oldest son was the one that ended up telling his mom that dad had left to be with me. That didn’t go over to well as to be expected. Once he was here, I guess I had high hopes that he would quickly look for a job and get on his feet and we could really start our life together. Everything started off great, he was so loving and caring and he wanted to be with me sexually all the time. We would go out and have a great time together. After about 3 months, certain things start to bother me like the fact that he is not really trying to find a job. He constantly gives me excuses on why he hasn’t been able to find anything. First it was transportation, when I suggest riding the bus he turns is nose up at that. Then it was that he didn’t have access to the internet. I give him an old laptop and he gets internet access but is only using it to play games and check his email and Facebook.

As the months goes by things really start to change. He starts to become pushy about me kicking my husband out of the house (My home is paid for and was an inheritance). He starts to get upset when I spend time with my family or spend too much time with my mom. He starts demanding to know every single thing that I am doing. I am not allow to have friendships with males at work (he has issues if I go out with co-workers for lunch and they are male). Anytime I don’t respond or answer him either via text message or if he calls I am automatically sleeping around with other men. He tries to get access to my email and Facebook accounts because he feels that I am talking to other men behind his back and he wants to see every friend I have on Facebook. He starts to stalk my family members on Facebook and twitter. He starts driving by family member’s homes to see if I am truly where I say that I am. If I say anything about him getting a better job (because he’s broke all the time and asking me for money all the time to send home the kids or for his expenses) he gets angry and automatically I am the bad guy and I don’t think he’s good enough for me. He always wants to quit his job anytime things don’t go the way he wants or he gets into a verbal disagreement. He doesn’t know what it means to have a filter he is very crude when he talks to people and doesn’t know how to hold back or how to respectfully express his feelings.

Anytime I try to end the relationship he gets beyond angry and he becomes verbally abuse calling me every name he can think of. Then he will go into a rant about how his wife still loves him and wants him back and he is going to go back to his wife and kids. He then starts to blame me for messing up his life and for ruining the relationship he had with his children. He will tell me goodbye and within an hour he is right back to insulting me.
Things that are important to me have no importance to him however; things that are important to him have to take center stage in my life as well. For example, he was in the military and he had a very close friend that served with him that was killed in action. He was there when it happened. The anniversary of his friends death is a significant day for him and I understand that, however he expect for me to mourn this individual that I have never met and that I should know the anniversary day. He expects me to be with him on that day to comfort him both emotionally and sexually because that takes him mind off everything. After 4 years of this I feel like I have totally lost who I am and I don’t know how to find myself again. I want out of this abusive situation. I don’t know how to tell him that I don’t want to be with him or how break away from him. But I do know one thing I need to get away from him.

Mar 20 - 4PM
redflagswaving
redflagswaving's picture

. I don’t know how to tell

Mar 22 - 8AM (Reply to #5)
txgrl429
txgrl429's picture

Thank you for you advice

Mar 20 - 3PM
sparky
sparky's picture

As hard as it is to go

Mar 22 - 8AM (Reply to #2)
txgrl429
txgrl429's picture

It is hard to let go.. I feel guilt

Mar 22 - 8AM (Reply to #3)
Used
Used's picture

txgrl