Fightergirl's story

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#1 Mar 17 - 9PM
fightergirl
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Fightergirl's story

Sorry so long winded, but it was 15 yrs of torment.

We were married 15 yrs. My husband is a very skilled conman. He is a salesman by trade. I used to be so amazed to see how great he was at his job. He could sell anyone anything! I thought he was perfect. Very shortly after we were married, his temper emerged. For the first couple years, I was very fiesty and would fight him back, trying to stand up for my rights as an equal. By the time our first 2 kids came, he had me convinced I was not qualified enough to do any type of work other then have more babies.
We had 4 children together and I made the decision to be more submissive and to trust him to lead our family and make decisions for us while I focused on bringing up the children. I knew if I were to oppose his decisions, I would be yelled at, called names, or physically abused in front of the kids, so I stayed compliant. I allowed him to control every aspect of my life, because I had no job, friends, money, no where to go with 4 young children.

My husband liked to spend money on himself while the kids and I went without. I wasnt allowed to have money, a car, cell phone or friends. He even monitored all my internet activity, going as far as loggin into my facebook acct on several occasions and leaving sweet messages to himself for the world to see how great a husband he was to me.

He has done some things to me that are so outrageous and atrocious, if I wrote a ficticious novel about it, no one would think it was realistic enough to get into...like bad sci-fi. He even tried to drown me once, gave me concusions on several occasions.He even set me up to try and have me raped.

He would call me names in front of our children everyday...b***h, whore, c**t, etc. He would also call the kids names daily...fa**ot, pig, f****r, a**hole, etc. He would tell the kids I didn't love them, and not to listen to me, because I was crazy. He would also tell them that if I would have sex with him, he would be a nicer daddy.

My father passed away and left me some $. My husband immediatly quite his job, and made foolish and selfish decisions on how to squander my inherientance. I knew I needed to make a decision to leave him, because this was the only chance I would ever get. I investested some of it in a photography business, and left some of it on the stocks and mutual funds where my father had them.

I was too afraid to ask him for a divorce still, because I knew I would catch a beating in front of the kids, especially now since he started taking steriods. I also knew I would be accused of leaving him because I didnt want to share my inherritance. But last July he pushed me too far, and I finally snapped...I told him I wanted a divorce. As expected, he attacked me in front of the children. he choked me, bit me, knocked me to the ground twice, and head-butted me, all while the children looked on, screamming for him to stop. he was in a rage though. Our 13 yr old daughter called 911. He was arrested and taken to jail. The officer at the scene heard him blame it all on my daughter, and asked the judge for protective custody for me and the children.

He violated the order 2 days later, on july 4th, by chasing us in his car. I called 911 again and had him rearrested. He got out on bond again, with a GPS tracking device on his ankle. However, I still didnt feel safe, because he was threatening suicide.. I took the kids into hiding at a hotel for the first few weeks of the seperation
I thought escaping him would be the hardest part. Had I foreseen what would be to come after, I would have never left him.

My daughter who called 911 has emotional issues and learning delays. They wanted to put her on the witness stand to testify against her father for assualting me. I couldnt allow that, so I agreed to let him plea down to disorderly conduct. His ankle monitor was removed and he resumed stalking and threatening me.

My husband still is set out to destroy me. He knows that he cant directly assault me anymore, so he does it via the kids. During his quest to take the kids from me, he requested we each get psycho analyzed. He was diagnosed as a sociopathic personality disorder. So i was awarded sole legal custody last month.

A couple weeks ago, he was awarded 50% visitation with the kids, somehow. In all my years of fantasizing about leaving him, I never saw it playing out so horribly. Sure he would threaten to take the kids if I ever left him, but I always assumed he would be seen as unfit and wouldnt stand a chance. NEVER underestimate the lengths these disgusting creatures will go to for revenge!!!

While I am supposed to be enjoying my new life, free of a psychopath, my innocent children have to pick up the tab for it. They will be living with it for the next 10 years. While we were together, he would ignore them most of the time...taking out most of his frustrations on me. Now that he can no longer directly abuse me...he has put laser focus on the children and is abusing them in order to destroy me. At least while we were together, I could intervene and redirect this back at me, instead of them. Now they will be left on their own with the monster.
My oldest daughter has started cutting herself to relieve the pain. I have had to include him into her counseling sessions to try to repair their relationship. I feel like such a hypocrite. She knows exactly what he is and that there is no fixing evil. The GAL says she HAS to live with him 50% of the time, even though she is 14.

Thanks for listening
Fightergirl

Mar 18 - 1PM
thenewjane
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Your story really made me sad

Mar 18 - 12PM
done as dinner
done as dinner's picture

I don't know where you live

Mar 17 - 11PM
fightergirl
fightergirl's picture

Nevermind. Thank you Lisa

Jun 15 - 10PM (Reply to #2)
ziggy
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Fightergirl, Are you ok?