sue1117's story

hurts so much

I met this kind genuine, lovley man on a dating site. We Talkd n text for bout 3 weeks. Until we decided to meet. We got on so well. With in the First 2 weeks we kept Meeting up. And he was saying hed fallen for me. wus to go out with each other. I was a bit hesitant at first cus it was going so great. That i didnt wnt to rush tngs. Plus i had kids from a priartner. So i wntd to take it slow n date a few monhs before introducing them. Anyway i said ok n we got together . We dated for a month n it was the kids birthday coming up. So i decided to go out all together. N finally let him met them as wed both fallen for each other. N it felt right. They seemd to like him. Everytnk was going great and we kept on saying how much conection we had.how much we was made to find each other. N was ment to be. Was so in lov It had been bout 2 months since Seeing each other if that. When he startd stopping over.but most the time he wouldnt go home n he virtually lived here. He lived in suported living cus he sufferd from depresstion. He hated it there. Hed told me bout his depresstion from the start and i was fine with it cus he didnt seem it and i loved him. My friends joked bout it at first cus they didnt understand and they met him a couple of times n got on ok. They would ask me to go out somtimes. As i was always out every weekend. Before i met him. But it was always a juggle with him and my friends who to See cus i only had fri nites off with the kids. My friends would pull me to go ov with them. And he would pull me the other way to spendthe time i had withov the kids with him. Hed say tngs like ur not single anymore n should wnt to spend it with him. I was torn who to listen to. In the end i chose him.he didnt like me going out.he pretty much wnted to spend every second/day with me. Anyway one nite i went out with the girls to a Garden bbq house party. And he offerd to have the kids which i couldnt beleive i didnt stop out lng and when i was walking bk i was getting texts off him saying he dnt tnk he could cope with me going out. And it was a bad idea n asking if there had been any blokes there. Loads of crap i had really. N when i got in he was beside himself crying shacking the lot. Saying he didnt wnt to lose me etc. I just didnt understand it. So i basiclly said i wouldnt go out again with out him. I told my friends bout ht n there alarm bells startd ringing n said be carful that sum of the ways wasnt rite. Anyway i went out again a few weeks later.but this time when i got bk he said the same tng but this time pushd me around the neck in front of the kids. We broke up for a week after that. N my friends was worrid for me.And told me he is being to obsessive n tryin to cöntrol me.mean whike i had my ex Call the Social on me cus he was worrid to. Between that i was getting suicidle text fr6 him saying he cnt live with out me. I was lost n misrable without him. N decied to go bk. I lost alot of friends throu it n my ex was givin me hassle phoning Social on me when anytnk happend. To cut it short ive lost count how many times wed fallen out. Over silly tngs. N him wnting to kill him self every time we split. He movd in proposd to me and got my name tattod on his neck with in a space of a few months and it was going to fast n i let it. When tngs was gud it was. Bv tngs spirld out of control to fast. I couldnt cope whth his deprestion. N suicide threts every time we Split n risk my ex takin the kids. N lost my friends over his obsessivenes so i walkd. It would of been a year now if wed Stil be togetger. N its been a montg since we split. I took the easy Option n walkd with out saying how much he pushd me away and he dnt understand it n still get the suicidle threts. Im lost cus i still love him n this turnd out to be a right mess.he blames me. I wish i could help him cus deep down he is a decent persö but tooj love to another Level.