Angelina753 Story.. The international man of mystery

I am sad to write my humiliation down .. To think that I was a woman who called this event into my life is a hard fact.. I was abused emotionally as a young child. My mom died of alcoholism and my father is a sex addict. So early life taught me to not consider myself as important. My needs do not matter. I married a good man who is very closed emotionally . We have struggled for 31 years together. No sex in last nine years. I thought that I would find an easy fix and go online to get my sex needs met.. I had no idea what was ahead. I met Mark M.. A beautiful man from Italy who charmed and entertained me. He is funny bright wealthy and loves to be a man of mystery. We wrote each other a few times and met for a dinner. My first hint that something was wrong is when he refused to drive to where I live.. He said I am no ordinary man. We met halfway between our cities. The man is model gorgeous and looks similar to my father.. I ignored my gut telling me he would slit my throat.. The second encounter I dressed as he wished . Short skirt heels lots of makeup. He came thru the hotel door and said you are beautiful.. Then kissed me hard and didn't stop for hours.. It was an assult on my body and mind.. And I was entranced.. Never had I been touched or talked to the way he did with me.. He was clear he didn't want to be my boyfriend.. He just lived for the moment and we should flow... His letters confused me.. Nonsensical and I kept trying to make logical connections ... What does he mean by that? The second time we met he had arranged another woman to be with us.. I said no.. But I was so curious about how he lived I had to find out more... I found out his name was not Mark the day he surprised me by flying down to my vacation condo .. He showed up .. He said he was sending me a package and it was him..
We continued for a year all the while more intense.. I felt not good enough.. Not pretty enough.. Not enough enough.. The sex was rough .. I had asked him to be softer and he made fun of that.. I started feeling like an object .. He said he wanted for me to be his most beautiful slut.. Well after seven months I found out his real name and that he was married .. All the time he could have told me this.. But he doesn't play fair.. I told him I knew who he was after I had met him for another sex adventure.. He gets bored with just one.. Group sex is his passion.. Funny thing is if he had loved me I would have done it.. I was curious.. But also repelled .. You do feel when you are being used.. I just denied denied denied.. I was his special friend.. I knew who he really was.. Someday he will love me... Ad nausesum.. Last year I saw him four times. He relocated to LA for his job.. The last two times we met in different cities. He travels a lot.. And there are women everywhere. He admits he loves women.. But he does not.. That is still hard to grasp .. He just uses women for his sadist needs.. I thought if I knew the other women I could figure out what he wants .. And we could share this together.. So I talked to two of them .. Both confirmed he is rough and only into sex.. No relationship.. So I was in a relationship in my imagination for two years.. Silly me.. As I struggled thru this the last thing to let go of is ... This is my only chance of love.. I deleted his info and asked him to delete mine .. I feel disgraced disconnected from myself.