peoplepleaser's story

Here is my story

Wow, it is hard to believe that I have been in this nightmare for twenty four years now. But not for much longer.

I met my husband after a Christmas party at work. I had seen him several times before as I sold print advertising to his employer. I never paid any attention to him. I was formally introduced to him that night. Things took off very quickly after that. It was the 10th of Dec. and he layed it on thick. He sent me three flower bouquets, a box of candy and gifted me three Christmas presents all before Dec. 25th. I was overwhelmed, to say the least. He wined and dined me, opened car doors and was charming beyond belief. He had a great sense of humor and was a hard worker. He dressed well, was polite and drove a Porche. I kep thinking to myself, wow did I ever hit the jackpot! I guess love finds you when you least expect it. I was 28, had a teriffic job, never been married and I had my head on straight. He was the same age as me and appeared to be successful and had a great attitude about life. On Dec. 31 he presented me with an engagement ring. I accepted. We remained engaged for a year and a half before we finally took the plunge.

There were incidents along the way to marriage that I should have paid closer attention to. He would tell me little white lies. I hate liars, my mother taught me that there is nothing worse than a liar. When I questioned him on some of them he would alway somehow justify them to me. Said I was making a big deal out of something trivial. I thought, well maybe he's right. Nobody is perfect, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. This pattern continued. On my wedding day his mother said well, this is the last wedding I am going to attend for him, four is enough. He told me he was only married twice before. He also told me he had two kids. He really had three children. The third child he conveniently left out was his oldest and the one he had not been paying child support for. I find this out when we try to purchase a house and it showed up on his credit report.

We have two children together. They are young adults now. I pretty much raised them on my own. My husband worked long hours. We have moved around quite a bit (he was and still is constantly changing jobs). He is in auto sales. That right there should speak volumes, (snakes in suits). These career professionals are groomed to be actors. He was a big fan of Dianetics. They put in 70 hours a week. Their co workers are their families, not their spouses and offspring. I was raised to be honest, faithfull, loving, forgiving and to put my children first. He, well....he was not. His father and stepfather beat him and his siblings. His mother was married FIVE times. When I met her she was taking suitcases full of drugs, (she suffered an anurism ten years prior and was blind in one eye). SHe never tapered off the drugs though. It was unbelievable. When she came to visit she would constantly fall asleep, 20 or more times a day. She was a junkie in my opinion. He was always at work, so I had the pleasure of babysitting her. I have much more to release, but I need to go to an appt. So....much more to come. Thanks for the release.