I feel like I been run over by a bus

I feel like I been run over by a bus
0

So my narc out of the blue with almost 3 months of nc called my office friday and i fell into the trap of talking to him. I did not just hang up - i fell into all the traps i always did/do. I drank on friday night till i passed out - he called ever 1-3 min. Left me 19 vmails. I am at work again today - i never left my apartment from friday at 5pm until it was time to go to work today. I just layed in bed - took sleeping pills and feeling sick. I still feel sick.

I did not listen to my vmails, but heard from my ex-husband that the narc was calling him beacuse he was afraid something bad happend to me cause i was not answering the phone. - OMG - the narc took or I allowed myself to be taken away from my ex- who i had a long relationship with and 2 kids. And the narc calls him - I just feel so sick - i can't think - i just want to sleep. I remember this feeling at the end of our relationship when i kicked him out. I was sleeping 12 or more hours a day. OH GOD - I know the answers but, i can't help feeling sick....

Goldie's picture

You know what, FUCK HIM

You should NOT be depressed over this, you should get out of that bed and hold your head HIGH, that you are no longer with this piece of crap.

Calling your X, EXCUSE ME???

How do you spell Narcissist?

N = NEVER AGAIN
A = ASSHOLE
R = REALLY? YOU THINK I WANT TO TALK WITH YOU???
C = CALL MY X AGAIN, AND WE WILL GO TO THE COPS.
I = IN YOUR DREAMS DICKWAD
S = SEROUOUSLY DUDE???
S = SADIST USING LIAR
I = INFORMATION IS POWER
S = SUPPLY? NOT
T = TAKING CARE OF ME NOW.

xoxo,
Goldie

Pumpkin's picture

Love

Love that Goldie!

hopefully free's picture

goldie

how do i go about scheduling a one on one with you?? Fast I need to right now. I am losing control. My phone and head won't stop..

Goldie's picture

How to schedule a ONE ON ONE with Goldie

How to schedule a ONE ON ONE with Goldie

Please order your session through the following link right here on the site or you are welcome to order it through my email if you need a generic receipt, it will say nothing aside from my email.

Here on the site: http://www.lisaescott.com/blog/goldie

Blank receipt: go to paypal and pay through my email goldierocks@me.com

To join our Support Group please order through the following link: http://www.lisaescott.com/blog/goldie

Once you have ordered your ONE ON ONE or the GROUP SUPPORT SESSIONS, please PM me with your time zone and availabilty and we will set up the one on one. I will at that time provide you with my call in phone number or if you have a Skype account you may dial in through that account directly to my phone number which will be provided for you.

The session lasts at least 1 hour and we will work through what is concerning you the most at this time. Everything discussed between us is completely confidential.

Please feel free to PM or email me at anytime with your questions or concerns.

Deidre99's picture

I've had a lot of caffeine

I've had a lot of caffeine today, so here we go. lol

1) You are human. And we do have setbacks along the way of healing. Don't make this worse than it needs to be.

2) You didn't 'fall' into a trap. The best way to stay NC, and maintain it...is to admit to why we break it. You didn't fall into a trap. You are addicted to this man, and you need to figure out why and how to break this addiction. NC and only NC will break it.

3) You should talk to goldie here, and sign up for a one on one.

4) You might want to think about getting a restraining order. Calling and harrassing you at work, and your ex husband, is really getting over the top.

5) Spend time meditating, eat right, and sleep right. This will strength you physically, so you can deal with the emotional issues of all this.

6) CHANGE YOUR PHONE NUMBER OR BLOCK HIS. That is a highly effective way to maintain NC.

Be gentle with yourself. But, also be real with yourself. Don't say things like...'i fell into a trap.' Because that tells you that you have no control over this. And you have ALL the control. He is a narc...an obsessive asshole narc. He will never change. No normal person calls someone every minute, for 19 calls. It might seem charming, but it's sick. He is sick, and he's making you sick.

But NC...you can control.

Get this toxic idiot out of your life, and you will stop feeling sick and spinning. We promise you!

hopefully free's picture

I can cry my stupid eyes out

Thank you for your reply it makes me so sad to know I am addicted to this person. I think i would rather be a drug addict. LOL

Your words really did help me. Thank you so much Deidre.

Will take control of the situation.

x0x

Sickofhim's picture

Deidre rocks!

Always so helpful. Ur words are so powerful and meaningful.
Hugs!!!

Deidre99's picture

Sometimes, the truth of all

Sometimes, the truth of all this (at first) can make us sad. But, really...the truth will empower you, because you can deal with truth. When we keep breaking NC, we hope for answers, or a different ending to this bad story. You know?

You are very strong. You really are. You are brave, too. You have been battling something very hard, but you can get past this man. You can stop the drama cycle, and the abuse cycle. And the horrible way he 'makes' you feel. But, he only makes you feel the way he does, by you letting him. It's important to see that, and accept your role in this back and forth mayhem.

You are gonna rise above this, and be stronger than ever before! Take charge! :) ((hugs)

hopefully free's picture

U R Right

I just turned off my phone.

Thank you - just will take some time to get over this weekend...

Love and hope to all.....