Nomoredrama's Story

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#1 Jan 23 - 9PM
Nomoredrama
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Nomoredrama's Story

19 years of my N..help me move on!!!

I am separated from mine 15 months now. I moved 1200 miles away from his toxic ways. For the past 15 months I have shaped up, read a lot and went about my business. When I got here to Florida I was a hot mess, leaving him after 2 children, 7 and 15, I was clearly very dependent on him. My family lives here but they do not understand this mans wrath on my life, and to be honest they may never get it because I hid it FOR ALONG TIME!!!
My 15 year old is disabled and medically fragile so my ex had complete control of everything including finances. I got a job waiting tables here and make just enough to get by. My disabled child take a lot of my time with doctor appointments and overnight hospital visits, so I was very angry at him for not sending me money, or even calling to see how she is. Yes I turned him into child support, but the state of Florida takes 1 to 2 years to process his case because he lives out of state, so thats in the works. RIDICULOUS!!
Not going into to much detail on the whole marriage for I can see after reading most of these stories on here we all have been there and done that. When I got here i weighed a 100 pounds smoked a pack of cigarettes from being stressed out and was simply a hot mess. Now with about 8 months of hard work I am training for an upcoming body building contest and am currently trying to get my certification to be a personal trainer and fitness instructor. By the way my EX hates my progress, and really tried to destroy me via texting, but yet failed. My journey has been tough we remained in contact for awhile but it has been one month with NC and this site has been helpful, very helpful to know I am not alone.
I would like to hear more from someone who has kids, my 7 year old son cannot understand why his Daddy doesn't call, write, help me with money, or come see him. I have no words, I just tell him daddy loves him. If anyone has advise on that please give.
My biggest personal issue is I just need to know how to trust again, my journey in finding myself has been rewarding but I am immobilized in fear of being hurt again. Picking up the pieces was so hard, but for the most part I did a good job find every little piece I had left. My new self is ready to go but the trust issue is killing me softly. This isn't about dating it is just everyone in general. Life awaits but I feel everyone is going to hurt me.
Thank you all for your stories you have inspired me to go forward, I know the past doesn't define you it prepares you.
Deb

Jan 28 - 10AM
Iwillrecoverfromthis
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I too was married to a N for 19 years!!

Jan 24 - 2PM
juliacatherine
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welcome Deb

Jan 23 - 10PM
Im_always_fine
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Hi Debo, Hi and welcome. I

Jan 24 - 4PM (Reply to #3)
terri
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I had to chime in here! I'm

Believe in yourself!
Terri

Jan 24 - 7PM (Reply to #5)
Nomoredrama
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fake does not even cover it

Jan 25 - 1AM (Reply to #6)
Im_always_fine
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I split up with my kids dad

Jan 24 - 5PM (Reply to #4)
Im_always_fine
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The fake good guy act....the

Jan 24 - 5AM (Reply to #2)
Nomoredrama
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everyday is a battlefield