rayrae's story

new - not sure?

Hi - sorry it this is the wrong place to be - I just feel like I really need help. I don't know if hes even a narc ... I may just be crazy ...but any advice ot opinions would be so welcome.
Hes 14 years younger than me & started coming around when he was 21as my younger brothers friend. He seemed to need somebody to care about him & it broke my heart & we quickly became inseperable. He would come on my errands or show up at the house...evenyually calling for a ride if he needed one or w/e. It may have looked odd to some but it was very innocent & we became close ... brother/sister close I thought. After about a year out of the blue he stops calling & wont take my calls. I felt hurt & abandoned but got over it. Then he came back around ... this time not as sweet but still kinda my kid brother. Then left again ... then back again...each time he came back a little bit less sweet. Then getting downright mean...then getting sexual...but everything crept in so insidiously ... it seemed like my fault? I still don't know how it got so crazy...
So 6 yrs later-through a couple jail terms, two kids to two different girls, getting completely cut off every couple months...- I now do whatever he says ..even tho i know I shouldn't ...but i panic at the thought of him cutting me out ...I have sex with him even tho he says it sucks ... I give him money.....I give him rides...I ride hisbooty calls around...I do his paperwork....his Dr appts ...his job applications...pay his child support....& he still cant stand me & I still keep trying for his approval.
its insane, its pathetic, & I don't know how to stop
I really need some advice I don't even know if this is a narc thing.
He may just take advantage because he had this crazy lady who is in love with him & now he has a gf again so I'm about to be cut again & I would love to use it yo heal instead of be sick & lose more weight i cant afford to
Ill stop rambling now but please any help