Ashlynn's Story

We initally met when we were 20, went out a few times but we were both in that whole single, party mode so went our separate ways. He found me on Facebook almost a decade later sending me a message "Looking gorgeous as always and would I like to catch up". It sickens me when I write that because NOW I have actually seen him write the same to any woman.

We went out a few times and I had red flags about him. The fact that he had been single for the last 5 years after and his ex-girlfriend lived together. She was "crazy" and was bi-polar. He said she said he was the "best" boyfriend she's had. Red Flag. He was a player and had more than one woman he was sleeping with at a time. Turn off. Red Flag. He was still living that bachelor social life with his 'boys." I did not pursue him. He disappeared for a bit. Then he started slowly pursuing me and in almost a year he got me good. He wanted a committed relationship because he found me again, the "one who got away", he was going to do a whole 360 lifestyle change and he would show me. He did ALL as he said. He played the good boyfriend for almost two years but now when I think back, of course there were warning signs.

Yeah, he certainly showed me.

We lived in separate homes but spent a lot of time together. He was everything everyone says about their ex-narc. Charismatic, good looking, the guy every guy wanted to hang out with, the guy every girl wanted to be with, “a stand up guy” was what HIS best friends told me. ha ha. The joke was on me.

He even brought me to other side of the world to meet rest of his family. Shared I was going to be moving in with him soon and we wanted trying for a baby that summer. When we returned he continued renovating his house so I could move in. He e was telling the whole neighborhood I was moving into the neighborhood. Then I found out I was pregnant AND we had been using protection. My pregnancy was the roller coaster from HELL.

He told me he was never going to move in and end up stuck with a miserable bitch. That I wanted this baby. He used a condom.

He called me a cunt, a twat, a psycho bitch. He told me I was used up and a cougar. I'm thirtysomething. Hes only a couple years younger than me. He told me HE deserved a young bitch. That he made an EXCEPTION dating me because I was beautiful but I would be hideous after the baby was born. He told me the best thing I could do for HIM was to DIE IN LABOR.

I was in SHOCK. It was like day and night.

At this time, I was making the biggest decision of my life to keep my baby or not. Couple years prior, I had been diagnosed with something where I could end up having a hysterectomy at any point.

He sulked to his best friend who conveniently has the house right next door to him. His best friend to this day ALWAYS has a house party all weekend drinking it up and inviting everyone who could bring women over and of course, my EX never had to go far to meet someone and conveniently bring her to his house right next door!!! I didn't go to many of these house parties but I know now, that yes, he also cheated on me, which I found out this year.

How he left me while I was still pregnant was announcing he was single on FB, adding women and his ex-girlfriend that he lived with before me BEFORE deleting me. He had cut my name out of the first ultrasound I had of my baby (the ONLY appt he drove me to and he NEVER stopped bitching about it). Announced he was going to be a dad. Nobody knew he was abusing me or that he left.I know NOW that it was to gain narc supply fast and furious. He had to gain everyone on his side. He even re-connected with that ex-gf and told ME he wished it was HER having his baby. She was young, blonde and everything I was not.

I NEVER called him to the hospital during my induced delivery. My blood pressure was skyrocketing and my doctor told me to cut this psycho out. Unknown to him, I had my daughter before my due date and he found out. He wanted to know why I didn’t call him?!!! I heard he looked quite ridiculous counting down the days on his FB page and I already had her! I was so happy to meet my baby. Unfortunately, I was in a very depressed mode. Hormones, shock, grieving, confusion and so much pain.

I took him to court. He was fighting me for joint custody when he NEVER showed any interest or lifted a finger for my daughter or to help me. I had saved EVERY text message and ever email. My lawyer printed each and every one. fter she turned a year old, I WON sole custody!

Unfortunately, he won visitations because he pays child support. When visits began, I know now he was doing that honeymoon stage just laying it on and yes, I was stupid enough to buy it. I had wanted him to love his child, me and be a family. I know NOW it was the idea I wanted.

Things shifted for me when he tried to blame ME for giving him an infection...what? what? what?!! He admitted he slept with someone once (as if) and he had gotten checked out and did NOT tell ME ....I was beyond pissed because not only did he mess me up emotionally and mentally but now my health when my baby girl needs me to be here for a long time. I asked him how many women he had slept with and he answered "I don't kiss and tell..." and LAUGHED...he told me that I was NOT his wife. Nor his girlfriend. That I cost him thousands of dollars on his lawyer and why should he feel bad????

That he doesn't date women with children. Why would he want to take care of someone else's kid? I'm the one who wanted this baby girl. He wanted a boy. So now because he's got a kid that he has to date disgusting women with children???

OMG. I could not live like this. I could not let my daughter live like this. I ceased his visits for 4 months since summer because he was verbally abusing me in front of my daughter. We went back to court because he said I was breaching the order and he was trying to change his visitation days and times. Ridiculous when he won 12 visits a month and really only sees her 4x a month. Visits resumed to once a week supervised in my home. After court, he asked me what kind of woman I was to tell MY LAWYER that he was a woman hater. Uh buddy, he figured that out on his own.

I started soul searching.

I was longing for was ONLY AN ILLUSION of a guy pretending to be perfect. I know now about narc supply and it all mskes sense why some days he was so involved with me and other days couldn't even respond to a text. I know now that I had been set up even BEFORE the pregnancy. He didn't "move me in because I was psycho." "He tried his best..you saw." He blames EVERYTHING on me to this day. I ruined his life he says. He continues on to make sure everyone knows he was so good to me. NOT. A great father. NOT. I use to be really hung up on what people were believing because of course, I wanted people to know he was lying. Now, I don't care. People will always believe what they want. I know what I believe because I lived it.

I wish all of you LOVE and HAPPINESS now and in the new year! Thank you for reading my story.