evonjohn's story

Devastated! Broke up and got married 6 weeks later!

I think I might have you all beat with my story! I was with my ex for 7 years. We have a 3 year sold son, lived together, owned a business together, shared everything. Basically we were married without the paperwork. Granted our relationship, just like everyone else's had it's fair share of ups and downs. So about 3 months ago, I had told him I had enough. We were together for 7 years, and not once did he want to talk about marriage and commitment, he always said it was a stupid peice of paper. I made him leave 3 months ago because I knew he was not happy with me, or even with our life. He was always talking to ex's, even though I asked him to stop many times. He was always blowing me and our son off at the last minute. According to him, he checked out of the relationship 5 years ago. So guess what he did - one week later he found a GF who is 13 years younger. ( I am 36 and he is 37). He kept this from me until everyone started to find out on Facebook (the devil's website). Then after 6 weeks, they took off and eloped to Vegas! WOW!! I begged this man for 7 years to give me what he gave her in 6 weeks!!

Now, I have been in therapy since last summer. We broke up for 5 weeks, and during that time I wanted answers. I didn't know if it was me, or him or the both of us. The 1st session with my therapist, she told me he sounded like a typical N. I was shocked and never heard about it. I came home and started research. WOW! I couldn't believe what I was reading.

In the beginning, everything was awesome. On our 1st date he told me I was the coolest chick he ever met, that he wished he met me years ago, etc. We were together everyday. After a month, he told me he was leaving for truck driving school, I was shocked because that would mean he would be gone for weeks at a time. I decided to stick it out. He told me he loved me after 5 weeks, and I laughed. Not because I wasn't feeling the same, but it was too soon for me. To this day he holds that over my head and says we never said it after. It took me a few more months to know for sure that it wasn't just the "honeymoon" period and I don't throw out I love you's so quickly.

After about 6 months, he decided and begged me to start a trucking company with him. Which I did, I don't know why because I hated it from the beginning. I already had a full time job, my own condo, new car, money, etc. I was totally independant. I started the company by myself! No help! I started to feel bad and used at that point, and I told him my feelings. He never really said anything besides I love you, and it will work itself out. After that I never really felt the same. I tried to leave a few months later, but he convinced me once again that everything will be ok. This is where the impusulsivity started. Who starts a trucking company with no experience and no money, but I was talked into it.

For a long time, whenever we were out with other people, I always felt cast aside, like he didn't pay attention to me and was always somewhere else. I felt ignored. So the only way I new to react was to stay quiet and sad. This is really the only thing I can think of that I did wrong.

Fast forward 3 years, and I became pregnant. The only time we talked about kids was a few months into the relationship because he was telling his freinds/family he couldn't wait to have a kid with me. Then I asked him about it and he said F#$% it, I can have a kid when I am 50. He is very blunt, and brutally honest. Would never tell me anything good, no compliments, no romance, etc. He would definately point out when I look bad. I only recall bad things, and he never said anything nice about the way I looked or dressed. Anyways, when I found out I was pregnant he said it would all work out. I made him promise me that he would be there and he said of course.

So I had our son. Worked like crazy for our company. Took care of the house, bills, etc. I never felt appreciated.

He would blow me off at the last minute, or just say he didn't feel like going to any of my friends events, but I went to 100% of his. He never "clicked" with my friends. I was always by myself. I would ask for dates, and he would take me to the local taco joint and call it a date.

It seemed no matter what I did, I couldn't make him happy. There were moments, but only a few. I guess that is what I was holding onto.

Fast forward to this year. After I had our son, I fell into a deep depression because I felt alone. It wasn't until this summer when I was myself again, and felt the relationship was good. But then the critizing came, and him being mean again. I looked through his phone and saw several text messages from ex's. I begged him last year to stop, and his excuse was that they would text him once in a while.

Everything is my fault now, according to him. The business failing is my fault, everything I do or touch turns to Shit, these are his words.

I am devastated, but I wake every morning and take care of my son. I am in the process of dissolving the company that we have owned together for the last 6 years.

What I don't understand, how can you get married to someone, after 6 weeks, and he doesn't even have a job or place to live? She also lives 3 hours away, and they travel back and forth to see each other. He told me he won't move up to her because of our son. However, I think he should just disappear. He has even had then nerve to ask me to be his friend over and over again for the last 3 months. I really think he lost his mind. A friend wouldn't get married behind your back. A friend wouldn't treat you badly and then tell you that you are the worst GF in the world and that I ruined everything for thim.

Everyone told me he did it to spite me. I say he probably just found his match and she's just as crazy as he is.

I hope that one day I can get through this. I am so depressed, and after 3 months I still cry. How could he do this???