Christina's Story

My Story

I was onto my Narc pretty early on in the relationship/ if you can call it that / and I should have followed my logic. When I told him that was it, he appeared the next day at a friend-s house who I was having lunch with to try and sabotage our friendship and any potential relationship that might emerge / something of course he completely denies.

I am living abroad, have a good job, had a great social life and was popular and always laughing. I must have been like a red rag to a bull for him. He spied me about 2 years ago, laughing and joking with some friends of mine/ we were singing, and from then onwards, everywhere i went, he was. He would corner me telling me that he -loved- me and how noone loved him / what a surprise!! I was slightly taken back but he is handsome and seemed ok so i thought well, we could be friends.

We started hanging out with my friends and we got to know each other better. A friend told me he had had some mental problems so,feeling sorry for him, i was extra special nice so his feelings were never hurt/ yes, i was being nice to a crocodile with very large teeth!!

Anyway, he was still mr man about town and i knew i was falling for him and getting myself involved in a non relationship, however, i allowed myself to go on and soon we were spending all our time together. I didnt entirely trust him though so after a few months i told him i wanted something more concrete and, if he couldnt do that, we should call it a day. I didnt realise at the time that I was not allowed to make such demands or set such limits. He said ok but then started to get v angry and intimidating when we were out, interrupting me if i spoke to other people, cutting me out of group things, saying things to other people/ all in a bid to isolate me, i now see. I was slightly nonplussed by the behaviour and thought he would eventually calm down so I ignored it / worse thing to do. He carried on and things got worse and I gradually got more and more withdrawn and stressed out, so much so that I stopped going out. It was difficult to talk to any of the group about it as they were all pretty much captivated by him and I had become very withdrawn. He then decided to take up with a group of girls and flaunt them in front of me whenever he could while making sure I could not talk to anyone and spreading the word that I was mad. He would then turn up at my house wanting to talk to me, kiss me etc. I was a completely confused mess and really didnt know which way to turn. I felt I had lost everything to this person who, when all was said and done, didnt care about me or my welfare and was just selfishly pursuing his own aims.

So my story is probably a little different to others here on the site in that I realised he was bad news but allowed myself to go on with it and I only instigated NC after he began to get aggressive. I feel very stupid for allowing this nasty man to take away my self worth, my friends/ although i wonder how good friends they are really now/ and my happiness, which he ultimately did.

The things that bother me the most are the fact that, like alot of people have said on the site, he almost seemed to appropriate my identity to infiltrate my life, react like me, behave like me, befriend the same people while, at the same time, trying to isolate and abuse me. The worst thing is that I live in a small community and it is almost impossible to talk to anyone about it. This kind of behaviour almost seems to be normal here. He also did all the usual withdrawing things lovey,dovey one minute and nothing the next. It makes me tired just thinking about it.

I have been no contact for about 1 month now and he is apparently having serious mental problems which I think is linked to lack of supply as the OWomen seemed to have now backed off too so obviously they are learning...

My job now is to work on me and get back to a normal healthy state of mind where I never allow myself to be seduced by someone so without feeling and morals and ultimately, love.

Thx for reading!