Laci423's Story

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#1 Oct 22 - 7AM
Laci423
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Laci423's Story

New here...I was OW, need advice please

I got involved with my married neighbor seven years ago. I knew he had a history of cheating and of course knew he was married but selfishly went with the high I was getting from simply getting to know him better. I became hooked/addicted VERY quickly. I never hoped he'd leave his wife(I knew he'd cheat on me too, he's 19 yrs older, etc)yet I wanted him in any way I could have him. Six weeks after we began sleeping together he started with the on/off cycle. I'd panic each time, get extremely depressed, separation anxiety, would think him and his wife had this perfect marriage, all was rosey in his world, etc. The second time he did this I told his wife so he would feel the hurt I was. It back fired. She believed me as shes "been through this before" so he got some slaps on the wrist and life went on. He came back to me 1 wk and 1 day after I told her and started "us" back up. When he'd come back INSTANTLY those horrible feelings would leave...I now know I was going through withdrawl and now getting my "fix". His reasons for the silent treatment or emails stating he had to end us was, "I cant do this to "Beth" anymore", "I cant read the Bible when I'm doing this", "Church was hard on me today", etc. Given he was married I felt this was valid and chose to take whatever good times with him he'd give me. After a couple years I knew I had to begin detatching. Through prayer and spiritual books I VERY slowly began, yet still continued with him, however I could go through the "off" periods not sinking into a depression. (Being with him has brought out some pretty sucky stuff in myself. I have become quite a liar, very manipulative and possessive with him ONLY. Possessive meaning I get jealous when he talks to other neighbors...even the men!!!? The neighbors overall know he cheats and brags but they seem to be attached to his charisma also.) I havent had sex with him since about two years ago.....MY doing! :) (Funny how as soon as I started backing away from him physically he never backs away from me anymore out of guilt; only when he gets real pissed off at me which over the years has been MANY times.) We've texted, talked, emailed, walked together, even gotten physical up to a point at times then I pretty much stop it. Within the past two months I REALLY didnt want anymore to do with him(overall) so I stopped answering his emails/texts,only said "hi" when seeing him outdoors. Here's my recent trigger now issue......Prior to being with me he had a relationship with another neighbor(I know, SAD all the way around with each of us) Now since I dont give him any "supply" he went back to her. This is a woman he called "Fat Pat" and said how gross her body is. I have difficulty seeing him go to/from her house YET really dont want him! Its not that he has someone else, its that its her and that I see it. Where I sit in my living room to watch TV I have direct view to seeing him come/go. How do I handle this is my first question.(cant go putting my blinds down and sitting somewhere else is just putting a "band aid" over the problem) My second is....I strongly believe he is overall a narcissist, definetly serial cheater and most likely sex addict.(long history of cheating, on third wife but married 30 yrs to her, I googled an email address of his a few years ago and he had a sex ad posted!etc.) When around his house with his wife/family....Why does he looks so put together and WHY DOES HE GET AWAY WITH SO MUCH OVER AND OVER????!!!!In the past I've told things to neighbors but he does "damage control" so well and comes out smelling like a rose! I have learned to do nothing,say nothing....no more acting on impulse! I know I have to put this in Gods hands and HOPE for once he is exposed! Thank you for any advice you can give. Since I found out hes having sex with the other neighbor again pretty much all my time is spent on line educating myself to become stronger and not let anything he does affect me. Its taking away from alot yet right now I feel the need to do this....at least I'm dealing with it in a healthy way.

Oct 22 - 9AM
Nightingale33
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It sounds like a frustrating

Oct 22 - 10AM (Reply to #3)
Laci423
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Thank you!

Oct 22 - 9AM
Alissa
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Hi Laci! Did you read my