Redrho70's Story

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#1 Oct 21 - 8AM
Redrho70
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Redrho70's Story

I met my ex narc in Cyprus when I was over there visiting my mum New Year 2001. He was younger than me and although I was not physically attracted to him, he was funny and appeared to care and be protective of me. I had just escaped a very intense relationship with a separated though still married man who had attempted suicide when I fell out with him and in hindsight, also had some definate maipulative narc features.
The current ex-narc was appealing as a deterant for the said married man to not come back and I thought that, although not a great basis upon which to build a relationship, perhaps a less intense relationship would be more fulfilling and last. Wrong!!
He moved up to Scotland to be with me (he was still living with his parents and still had dinky toys on his windowsill!)..but didn't feel he needed to work or contribute to the house in anyway. Sure, he got a job selling wine..for a month or two...but it cost more in travel money than it did in wages. So I was left paying his debts, the running and upkeep of his car and providing him with food, shelter and clothing. I also used to give him money to go to the pub so that he didnt feel isolated or depressed whilst I was working. Duh!!
He eventually got a job in this pub on a saturday evening and he seemed a bit happier but he still never contributed to the household but at least I wasnt having to give him pin money every weekend.
He would always say that he wanted children with me and he made it clear that he was heart broken when my period arrived on a weekend in Perth. With this obvious desire to have kids clearly established (he would even say "do you want my babies" during climax)...now I know what that really meant...yeuch!!and with my biological clock ticking away so loudly..I thought we were on the same page re starting a family.
About 13 months into our 'relationship' whilst working a nightshift I discovered I was 5 weeks pregnant. I had not been using contraception due to us trying to conceive but when I jumped into the car in the morning excited to tell him, I was shocked to see his face darken whilst he insisted it wasn't the right time and that we didn't have enough money to support a child. I was heartbroken and confused..why plan and try for a family if you didn't really want one? He wanted me to get rid of the baby but that was not something I could do. As a result, he became more moody and withdrawn as the pregnancy progressed and one night, after having robotic sexual intercourse, he left me haemorrhaging and in pain in my bed whilst he went to work in the pub. I was terrified I was miscarrying and asked him to come home to take me to the hospital. He took his time coming back and took me to the hospital in complete silence. With hindsight,I really think he hoped I was miscarrying.
I was awake and alone all night watching for any "abnormal" discharge and was exhausted the next day when they performed a scan...thankfully my baby was still there and narc seemed relieved too..so I thought that maybe he was just scared of becoming a dad and being out of work so I decided to try and stick it out with him.
However, at 5 months pregnant, he was still only working one night in the pub but he was also now doing an odd night as a doorman in a local club..yeh...I know! He had picked me up from nightshift one morning (which he grudged)and smelt of drink..he obviously hadn't long got in from being out all night and although I was mad I tried to settle down to sleep when he came in and threw my bag at me(I still have the mark on the wall)...asking for money for petrol. I said no..he had his own money for that...so he proceeded to call me a controlling bitch and when I got up to challenge him he grabbed me by the back of my neck and dragged me over to the top of my stairs.He bent me backwards and began screaming in my face..I was terrified he was going to throw me down so I said I could see he wasn't happy and that this wasnt working so I would give him the petrol money to return home to his parents (300 miles away). He then released me and as soon as I got free I ran downstairs and got my purse and gave him £50 to leave. He was obviously still enraged because he then pinned me down onto the stairs and was sneering up into my face when he pulled his fist back and swung as if to hit me...he stopped just before he came into contact with my face. It wasnt the first time but thankfully he left and I just sat there rocking and sobbing. I since learned that he went to the pub to pick up his wages and drove down the road to england. He, however, texted all the way down the road saying he was sorry and that he wanted to get married and have our child as bridesmaid/page boy on a beach somewhere in the caribbean???
(Sorry, thats all I can write just now as recalling all that pain and anger is draining...will write more soon x.

Oct 21 - 3PM
Redrho70
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# 2

Nov 18 - 11AM (Reply to #3)
agnesmurphy17
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Lesson

Oct 22 - 5AM (Reply to #2)
Alissa
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((((((((((((( Redrho