Ok, so it has been 8 months now since the D&D. I am better, I do NOT cry everyday, but I still get days when I cry hysterically! I have maintained NC for 4 months now. And I mean it! No FB, No texting, No calling, No driveby's, NOTHING! I am very good with it because I do NOT want to talk to him. I do NOT want to see him plastering pics of him and his NW all over FB. And since he NEVER attempts to contact me, I do not have to worry about hoovering.
So why after reading, reading, reading, meditating, exercising, writing, talking it out with friends, do I still CRY and think of HIM EVERY DAY? EVERY DAY I have to make an effort over a dozen times to CHANGE my thoughts AWAY from HIM. When does this stop? I want him out of my head 8 months ago. I know he is sick person who never loved me, is a Narc, is an actor, was cruel, a liar and a cheater, and WON"T be any better to her,(eventually).
Logic crap I have GOT it! When will my emotions catch up? When will my obsessive thoughts stop? This is the most INSANE thing I have ever experienced!
I am better, I do not cry every day, I can dismiss him from my head "most" of the time, ( although I have to do it dozens of times a day), and then those days when I can't I cry and cry. I NEED relief from him once and for all! WHEN!!!!!
(so tired of thoughts of him and crying)