lovemaryann's story

Mary Ann story I'm such a wonderful sweet woman what did I do to deserve this

I never thought my life would end up the way it has. I feel like the most stupidest person on earth all I ever did was try to be a loving wife and mother I thought I was the crazy one nagging maybe because I put on a few pounds that is why he was not interested but No it was not me at all it was him a mean very cruel person and I truly believe he is the Devil himself roaming the earth. This is so hard for me to write because so much has happened in my life it could probably be a 1500 page chapter book but here I go.things may not be in 100% order and maybe some misspellings I had a hard time opening up there is only one person who ever heard my story so i'm a little scared. He was a very charming man he made me feel like I was a princess any and everything I wanted I had , when we went to night clubs we walked right in and strait into the V.I.P section everybody loved him there was always woman around him but he brushed them off because I was there but I felt like I was the Queen I was the one he had chosen to be his wife. It all started with girls calling me saying they are dating him I would question him he would then say oh those girls want your life they will do anything to break us up so they can marry him. I knew he was lying but I forced myself to believe it he put up a good fight he cant be lying. I had a strong feeling he had a thing going with 3 of my friends at different times just by the way they acted when I was in the room I confronted one of them she told me yes she had a thing going with him so once again I confronted him he gave me the same story I picked up my stuff and went running to my sisters house. He called me so many times begging me to come home talked me into going to dinner with him like a idiot I went he wined and dined me he was once again the man of my dreams I figured it will never happen again he loves me he made a mistake. He never confessed to it he just made me feel like I was seeing things. A year into our marriage I was pregnant with my first child I was so excited I could not wait to tell him the good news I thought it was going to be like what I saw on t.v he was going to grab me hold me tell me how happy he was .It was nothing like that he said oh really and he had to leave he was going dancing with his friend. I was hurt but I figured the news did not sink in yet all threw my pregnancy I went to my doctors appointments alone I did not even go to lamoz class because I was to embarrassed I did not want to see all the happy mothers to be with the proud fathers knowing I was going to be alone. He really did not care if I was sick he brushed it off and asked what time dinner was going to be ready he was hardly home and the phone calls would start again I saw your husband with a girl at the gas station they were all over each other or I'm screwing your husband he is only with you because of the baby I would argue with him but I was so insecure with my pregnancy I did nothing about it I went to my sisters house in wisconsin to get away for a while but something told me to come home I drove home there was a car parked in my driveway I walk downstairs there was someone laying in the bed next to him she had her head covered I still don't know till this day who it was he grabbed me threw me in the bathroom and would not allow me out until she was able to leave I was 8 months pregnant. I gave birth a month early because of all the stress we brought the baby home I was so excited because we made the nursery so beautiful I thought this would have to change him every little girl is his daddies girl well He decided to go on a trip that weekend I came home. When he got home he developed his pictures it was laying on his desk so I picked them up and I noticed his ex girlfriend mother of his 2 children was there I was wondering o.k so why was she there it was not a family gathering it was you and your friends going for the Harley Davidson convention he was so angry he picked up a bottle of pine sol and threw it at me while I had the baby in my arms I should of left I did not realize how violent he was going to start to be.He ripped up the pictures told me it was not her and it was dropped if I brought it up he would start yelling at me I was scared I was going to be hit so I never brought it up but I knew for a fact it was her.I was a stay at home mom he ran the business and the properties and he made me believe if I left I would get nothing I was young and stupid.I had my second child right away she was at her sisters first birthday party the night before we were all in the family room both babies were on the floor one was crawling the other was a month old just laying there The business line rang he started to talk both babies started to cry at the same time he was so angry he told me bring them up stairs I told him it would be easier if he goes upstairs it would be much faster he put the phone down I got a beating of my life it lasted I believe a hour it went from room to room he would not stop I guess because I did not obey him.The next day it was my daughters first birthday party he felt bad I had scratches and a black eye he went out and bought me a outfit with sunglasses everyone one knew what had happened but no one questioned it, it was supposed to be a happy day but it was not. I was always home alone he never took us out he never helped with the babies everything had to revolve around him all he had to do was wake up I had his clothes his todo list ready breakfast lunch and dinner waiting for him. But when we were around people he seemed like the perfect father and husband but my family knew the truth I did nothing about it so they could not help me my sisters would beg me to leave him but I had a hard time because I felt he would not let me go.I was brain washed I was told I was stupid and I would never be able to survive with out him.Now i'm going to fast forward to the current years I was not only beaten Burned with boiling hot water while I was making Thanksgiving dinner thrown down stairs punched kicked I was always alone never took the girls and I out if he went he would make everything so boring it was always walking on pins and needles.He had many affairs I lost track of how many woman I even contracted 3 diseases and of course I was blamed for that I never cheated on him but he called me every single name in the book he would call me in front of his girlfriends you can tell he was showing off accusing me of having a affair calling me names how I was such a horrible mother all I care about is sex with other men he even told his girlfriends I have affairs the only reason we are together is because I will take everything from him. I grew numb I felt that was life had to be if I ever left him I would be dead I had 2 girls that need me.So to make my self happy I would just go major shopping to mask the pain I felt inside. We were legally divorced in 2007 he said he had a reason and I never questioned him I was just waiting for him to die as he would mention to me he had cancer he can go anytime or he had parkinsons disease and I had to go back to him because he needed help but when I came home he magically got better .He would carry the divorce papers with him in his car and he would show his girlfriends as I was told. In those divorce papers I was awarded the business and the properties and of course full custody of the girls .He knew I was stupid brain washed he trusted me with everything he knew I would not go anywhere he knew I was scared of him. We lived together still acted as husband and wife no one even new we were divorced well except his girlfriends .I did not like were we lived to me we did not belong there we had money properties beautiful cars we lived in a low income neighborhood My family and his family would ask me why are we living there its not safe I would have to drive my daughters to school out of district and play at the park in a different neighborhood we lived around gangs I could not have my children around that but he did not think about us he was comfortable there everyone looked up to him he was the master king and everyone treated him like a king there he had so many followers so he did not want to leave.One day he did something wrong and went to jail I took that opportunity to leave to the suburbs closer to my sister but I still helped him sent him money hired a lawyer like a idiot this was my perfect opportunity to get away. I lived in my sisters basement while he was incarsorated and finally he got out a few months later He was a changed man He is going to be the perfect Husband and father I can ever ask for and he did it well for a couple of months money was very tight because I just paid over thousands of dollars on his lawyer .My sister told me we can stay there until we get back on our feet while he was in jail so many people took advantage and not paid any rent it was winter so I could not do anything about it I had to start eviction process mean while my bank accounts went lower and lower I still had to pay the bills for the business and mortgage plus all utilites . While we were living in my sisters basement he told me he was not comfortable he was going to stay in the city a few nights a week so he can be closer to the properties and business he was going to stay at one of our properties I did not care that is less time I have to spend with him . My girls and I are in a beautiful suburb in a wonderful school beautiful scenery I will not complain.His dad passed away a wrongful death the whole family was awarded money in 2011 He had the check wrote out to me I then used that money to buy my daughters a beautiful home in the suburbs paid the whole thing in full I wanted to make sure my girls were covered. He completely stopped coming home he never even payed attention to us he would make his daily calls to his girls and me he had to know everything I was doing I felt as I was still being watched he knew everything about me were I went what I did who I'm talking to I knew my house and car was survelienced I did not care I was not doing anything anyways.I thought since I had my dream home I would be happy but no it is a very cold home the money was starting to get less and less he was not coming home but only once a week to give me money and say hi to his kids while he was here his phone would be constantly ringing and he would avoid the calls and he would head back into the city we have not had sex for over a year and a half . I started investigating him come to find out he started a new life with a 18 year old girl they lived together he had pics of her on his phone with his name tatood on her butt . He has had a relationship with her since she was 17 so that is why he stopped coming home I questioned him he said that that tattoo was a fake it was a joke it was ink she is just a friend I finally like a idiot told him baby come home we can work this out we are a family he would tell me to shut up let him work he gives me the money. I had the worst self esteem I thought I was ugly and fat I can not do any better I never even had a real job I always depended on him I cant loose him.What is going to happen to the girls and I.I went threw his phone again he had a text message to her he slapped her because he cought her cheating on him with a younger guy my husband is almost 50 years old in that text message to her he told her I loved you so much I did not even want to go home to see my kids I wanted to make sure i held you every night to protect you and make sure you were safe.Finally i could not do this anymore she looked like she was 14 years old she was also the manager of my business that he would not let me go around now I know why. I wanted to get out I told him this was it i'm lonely i'm always by myself you started another family leave me alone let me start a life of my own its not fair he still would not leave his little girlfriend but he acted as if he owns me . I finally met a man he is the father of my daughters best friend he is a wonderful caring sweet man a total family man he had custody of his daughter I finally said what the hell My ex started another family I wanted to have a family of my own a happy family I have been alone for over a year and a half.I started dating this man everything I ever wanted well my ex found out started threatening me I told him you have your girlfriend in the city leave me alone.To make a long story shorter He closed our business in the city he packed a u haul truck and forced his way into my home that he never lived in that is solely in my name he is now living in my basement. He told me that his dad bought us this house it is his if I don't like living with him to get the hell out I'm still dating my boyfriend my ex is giving me a hard time he does not belong here I know I have to start a eviction process to get him out but I'm scared I offered for him to keep all the business and the properties but just leave the house to the girls and I he is saying no I'm going to be his wife until death do us part .I feel so week I feel like such a failure I have people to help me now a wonderful supportive boyfriend that my ex threatens something is going to happen to him I feel so lost and like a looser I feel like I will never have a life of my own Please give me some advice should I leave everything behind and find a job and a apartment or should I fight for my home that is rightfully mine being his wife and all the hell I have been thru for almost 18 years?