Will this ever end

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#1 Sep 26 - 12PM
paul88nth
paul88nth's picture

Will this ever end

Hi,
It's been a few months since I posted. But, it's been a bad day today and I'm just hoping I can keep going. It's been 18 months since the relationship ended. And there have been over 100 hours with my counsellor trying to get my head straight regarding everything that I have felt about the relationship and the discarding. I thought I was making progress but she's always somewhere in my mind. She's still there and that power is still ruling my life. Or that's how it feels. Somedays I just feel like getting away, disappearing and trying to forget completely. But, life doesn't seem to work that way and I have a job and people around me that I cannot let down. Today, I bumped into an old friend who just made a passing comment about seeing my ex with her new man. They have been together for about 14 months and it all sounded as though it was going well for them. It feels as though all the therapy was just me justifying my failure and that she was right to discard me and find someone better. All of my work on understanding the toxic relationship, the devaluation and the effect on my self esteem has been replaced with a feeling that I was to blame and now someone else, without my hangups has stepped into my place and is enjoying true happiness with her. When does this end. When does the CD pass. Am I hanging onto the pain as another way of destroying myself for failing to meet her demands. If anyone has any words to help, please post. I know I should be strong and move on. I know I am allowing her to control my life but I just cannot seem to break the cycle.
Thanks,
Paul

Oct 10 - 5AM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Sounds like you are getting some great advice here, Paul

Sep 30 - 3AM
Gso88
Gso88's picture

Sorry about my Delayed response

Oct 10 - 5AM (Reply to #7)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

OUTSTANDING response, GSO

Sep 29 - 8PM
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

Paul, You wrote "Am I hanging

Sep 27 - 1AM
Costa
Costa's picture

Break the cycle

Sep 26 - 6PM
TNR1
TNR1's picture

Hey Paul....Who is she to

Sep 26 - 1PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Here's the thing .. You need

Sep 27 - 12AM (Reply to #2)
lilly12
lilly12's picture

rejection..