Madness2 Story

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#1 Sep 21 - 3PM
Madness2
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Madness2 Story

I was with my husband for 28 years, married 25. We grew up together, basically. I now realize I came from a home of a narcissist and I am a very co- dependent personality. He also came from a background where his parents thought only of themselves, so we were a time bomb waiting to happen - I honestly wish I would have had this information sooner. I can say we were the envy of all our friends...we looked to have the perfect marriage and he was (what I thought) the perfect husband. I don't know if my situation is unusual or not, which is why I'm here's, but, 5 years ago his best friend became his business partner. This man is a pathological narcissist, and I knew it almost immediately once we all became friends. Our problems began when my Ex's friend stopped working (it wasn't a good enough job) and he acme to work with my ex. Since he lived an hour away he would stay with us when they had a big job (home reconstruction) to do. One night turned into two, two became four and before I knew what happened he was living with us full time except weekends (well some weekends). My ex and his friend would go out for boys night once a week - i thought nothing of it until one night turned into two and then it would sometimes be three nights and a weekend day. About 3 years ago I learned that Ex's friend had been having an affair - I wanted no part of it and asked him to move out. The ex became defensive said no, this was our concern. I kept calling them out about the going out the phone calls in the middle of the night the waitress that was too friendly at their regular bar and eventually I got the talk that I had changed and was crazy and if I trusted him this wouldn't be an issue. After that if we went out he was rude to me and my friends, he would say we were going out as friends (we were married!) he eventually left and immediately had a girlfriend who he was happy with while I was trying to figure out what happened and how this was all my fault. Even my daughter believed I was crazy and didn't want anything to do with me because dad was right Nd deserved to be happy....WTH. he came back a short 6 weeks later and I, of course, took him back with open arms hoping we would finally try to fix this. He left me again...meeting another woman while he was back with me. During that time a lot of name calling and misery followed from him and our very quick divorce. Quick, because our daughter wanted me not to be a "bitch" to dad. Skip ahead 7 months and he waltzed back in doing all the "right" things and I fell for it again because he was helping get things done around the house, being sweet and attentive to me and my friends, but he wouldn't go in public with me after my birthday. Said all he wanted was to be friends no commitment. That was when I knew he was becoming just like his best friend (who he is still sharing a house with). I still have a hard time believing he's a full blown N but if I'm honest and look back he's had the traits all along and completely jacked up my co-dependent status all along. I am also wondering if he is co-dependent on his best friend - but I can't see him giving him up since he left a 25 year marriage for a friendship of 9 years. I'm looking to get my life in order and not have another one of these vampires in my life.

Sep 22 - 4AM
jennifer
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I feel for you