daisy131's story

Well here I go.... 1 week NC

I have been with him for 3 years, the 27th of this month is actually our 3 year anniversary. I was married for 17 years prior, within the next 4 years my exhusband left and married the OW, they now have a child. My home was in foreclosure when I met my Narc one year after my exhusband left. The first year he was my rock, helping me and my kids move into another home..the second year was not bad, however I began to notice "our life together" was getting one sided "everything focused on him". On the begining of the 3rd year, thats when I began to feel like i was walking on egg shells and was constantly giving and giving while getting crumbs, everything revolved around him. I began to feel depressed blaming my unhappiness on my business, my living situation, not feeling myself thinking the problem was me, when I realized it was.. him. He would do things that really bothered me, but I was afraid to tell him how I felt because he would also turn it around and I would end up saying I was sorry for feeling this way. I was starting to catch small lies. He would get upset if I brought up any "future talk" even on special days, it was never the right place or time. I never got the "silent treatment" until one incident in May, while on a weekend get away he freak out in front of my kids, for some reason I had taken my car as well.. we met there separately. I left angry and came home with my kids. Well when I got home I called to talk about what happened..and so began the "silent treatment" for the next 3 week he ignored me... I was a mess. As I was doing better each day. While celebrating my daughter's graduation party, he shows up as if time never stop. We got back together and again when I wanted to bring up what happened, Why would you ignore me for 3 weeks?? I got, Im tired, not the time or place. Well I made a promise to myself that would never happen again, it was a pain I never felt before. Worst than losing my husband and family home.
I tried finding info as I thought this was passive-agressiveness disorder. When he returned he was different person to me, even the first time we had sex felt different, like I was some random person... it took weeks for him to return to what I felt was normal. Of course I continued to avoid any touchy subjects and decided to just let things be. Well a week ago, after spending almost 3 weeks together.. we go to the beach, leave early and go to his house because the beach was way too crowded for him.. well his nephew was going to need a ride home, mind you I didnt bring him, nor know exactly where he lives. As it got late I told him I was leaving, then he asks can you take him home? I saw " No, its late and I dont want to get off the freeway, (I live an hour away) I could see his face turn and kept repeating "its on your way" for some reason I kept my ground and said "no I dont want to, I dont even know where he lives". He just wanted me to do something he didnt want to do... well sure enough that was a week ago, and he is ignoring me. I called 2 days in a row and sent two texts... and he has not returned calls/texts. Im so angry that this is happening again and so quickly.. as I read more and more info..looks like it will become something that will always happen and more frequently.
The pain that someone who is happy one moment and treat you like you are nothing the next is unbearable. I feel so used and ashamed because kids know Im sad. Im sorry if my story is not as agonizing as some of these beautiful women that have endured years of these treatment, my heart goes out to you.

As each day go by, I feel relieved that I made another day with NC. The first time it happened.. I was calling , texting and had to stop myself from just driving over there for some answers. But you ladies and men are right.. there is no answers, I would have been crushed if he didnt answer the door.

Feeling are definitely rising, today a thought came to mind " My marriage ended, I lost everything and now this? what is wrong with me??? " I pray to God that answers are found and given to me soon so I can begin to heal.

Im tempted to send a text saying Im moving on, but feel it is just a nudge for attention.

Im glad Im found this site and thank you for letting me put this on here.