cdmarie's story

Trying no contact but it is N's birthday

I've been with my "N" about a year and a half - on and off. We seem to have a blow out fight about once every 2 months and then don't speak for 2-4weeks. I think this is the end this time, and he swore to me he will never come to my house again or text or call. Its been 15 days and he has stuck to that promise and this has been the longest for no contact. I NEVER contact him. He has always come back to me in the past. I think he has narcissist tendencies, however I'm not sure that he has NPD. There are many things that bother me though
including:
1) He has never made much of an effort with my 15 year old son, and he has told me this is his fathers job, not his job.He has played a few board games with him in 1.5 years time and he thinks this is enough.
2) He has also said many times AFTER a fight that he wants to marry me and have a child of our own soon, but then once we are back together he lets me know he is not the marrying type. When I asked him about the text he said "I must have been drunk" and made a joke about it. I am 45 years old and at one point wanted these things very badly, although I am not sure how I feel now. He said "soon" to him is 5 years from now.
3) He refuses to ever make "plans" with me. He said he is spontaneous and he has never made plans in 42 years and hes not going to start now. This has been very difficult for me because I have a son and have to coordinate things with him and I also have pets and I have to make sure someone can walk my dogs if I am gone long. I explained this to him but it hasnt changed anything. It was bothering me 2 weeks ago and I texted him "are we getting together tomorrow? if not I am going to make plans" and he said "dont let me stop you from your "plans" and said if I wanted to do something with him I should just ask. I told him that it is very hard to see each other during the week, and he works sundays, so Saturday (for me) has always been the assumed day we would see each other because its the only day we both have off. He didnt like this and said I only do things when they are convenient for me.

I think I am babbling, but my question is - today is his birthday. Whenever we would fight in the past (many times) he would contact me by text to say happy birthday or happy thanksgiving or whatever. My plan was to not do this after the mean things he said to me, however I am feeling very mean right now and feel like the least I should do is text happy birthday. What do you think?