Almost 4 weeks NC

Almost 4 weeks NC
Posted August 23, 2012 - 8:03am
2

So now that I'm getting closer to 4 weeks I stopped counting the days NC.
I am so grateful for this site because it has opened up my eyes to things I normally wouldn't have known. I used to be the person that broke NC all the time trying to get validation from him. See if he still cared about me or missed me or if he felt like he made a mistake.
The things that I have realized that he has said that we're huge red flags are amazing. He even told me that he didn't know why he couldnt be that person that he promised me he would be time and time again. I would tell him it's not that hard to just show someone you love them an he said "I will do it when I am ready" no hun... You should just do it period.
I also made a huge step by quitting the place that him and I worked at together. I stayed there picking up a weekend shift like every other weekend just because I had pride and I didn't want to completely leave the place that I loved working at just because of a stupid man. But the
Anxiety I would get just from being there was unbearable and not a healthy way to work. Now that I have been away I feel SO MUCH BETTER. And I don't have to fear bumping into him anymore.

Thank you all for helping me realize so much and being there for me.

And Round 3.... You are doing so awesome! I enjoy your posts! Keep it up :)

‹ 2 months since move out Tempted to break NC....help... ›
Dawny's picture

Thank you all so much!! My

August 23, 2012 - 2:14pm — Dawny

Thank you all so much!!

My best friend is all about spirituality and has been helping me find myself again. I never really believed in that stuff before but holy moly it's been helping me out so much! What I can honestly say about this experience with my xN is that it has opened my eyes to things that I truly have been neglecting about myself. I look at my previous relationships.. And they are all narcs! But I was too dumb to see it. I guess it took this man to completely screw me over and hurt me to wake me up. I have so much to work on with myself and I will never let another man treat me like that again. I was used and made a fool out of myself but like I've said many times before its because I was so blinded by his charm. Not anymore! I respect myself enough now that I will never just lose myself like that again.
My xN is a bonified grade A ass hole and I don't care what charming smile he puts on or how much everything isn't his fault or how happy he is pretending to be I know he will never be happy. So that's all the revenge I need.

Froglegs's picture

Dawny, you are so full of

August 23, 2012 - 1:39pm — Froglegs

Dawny, you are so full of win. So happy for you!

Deidre99's picture

Awesome...congrats!You do

August 23, 2012 - 10:02am — Deidre99

Awesome...congrats!

You do what you have to, for healing. At first, I remember feeling too, like what, I have to rearrange my life to keep avoiding this jerk? And he just stays the same. What I learned, was narcs don't change anything because they WANT TO BUMP INTO US. LOL They live for the attention, and potential drama that might ensue. Not us, though, right?

Had enough drama dating them...don't need anymore, once it's over.

I commend your resolve, and only more good things are about to come!

round3's picture

Hey! - - Chasing You!

August 23, 2012 - 9:51am — round3

Hey - congrats!
Excellent.! You have no idea how much hope you give to me. It's like you lay the path so I sort of know what to expect and even better.... I know it will pass.....

I was a chronic NC breaker, whether N started it or I started it on a stint of ST, so this is very awesome for us! I did it for 4 years!

I'm glad you made some changes. I am too. It's so hard because I feel like what do I have to give up everything and he just runs around a free man. ... but I have to keep reminding myself the NC is for me... not for him... I am going to heal... he is going to be sick and disordered forever....

It just keeps coming and going. I too am so thankful for this site. Last night was a rough one and then I read about toenails and nose picking. And that cured me enough to get some half way decent rest and today was a day my eyes opened and the N and the OW weren't there. AMEN!

Good job... and THANK YOU! so much

round3

GracefullyFree's picture

Dawny

August 23, 2012 - 11:42am — GracefullyFree

Well mine isn't running around a free man so......
;-)

I don't even know how many times I broke what should have been NC during this relationshit. One of us would end it but eventually I'd break down. Sometimes prompted by him and sometimes not.

And back then, I would also think I shouldn't have to change a damn thing. All the stuff we all go through it seems.

But now things are gettjng clearer and clearer. Things actually make sense. And life gets better richer and fuller day by day.

Keep counting weeks!!
Your posts and encouragement mean a lot around here!
Love seeing you movin right along!

Grace

Emma's picture

Woohoo

August 23, 2012 - 9:07am — Emma

Four weeks NC....BRILLIANT!!! well done you :)

goldie's picture

Congrats on your NC

August 23, 2012 - 8:38am — goldie

Great job!!!

God bless,
Goldie

spinning's picture

This is outstanding news, Dawny...

August 23, 2012 - 8:32am — spinning

...and it will just keep getting better.

The beauty of NC lies in self-discovery. Many, many lightbulb moments that reveal truths and make us stronger if we do the work.

I am so happy for you and the new, disorder and confusion free life that is unfolding before you.

Love,
(not) spinning. AND DETERMINED TO STAY THAT WAY