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I seem to be the only one here that there no other woman involved right now....
sure ive asked him.......he said no alsmost immeadiatley?
is that truth speaking? or is that instant answer a lie?
That''ll be the day! A narc may not be cheating in any given moment, but they are all likely about to in the next. Asking him if he is cheating is pointless cause unless he wants to tell you, he''ll lie. Even when they don't have to lie they will. Even when you already know the truth they''ll deny it.
Bottom line is they always need a supply source and during devalue stage are already scoping out what might be available to them. That is how they can move onto the next so quickly, chances are they were already most of the way there.
took a vaginal infection, phone records, & a fb pic for me to put the pieces together.
he'd been cheating & lying for 4 months.
as everyone else pointed out: THEY LIE.
There was no OW when I was with him, every time I tried to walk away from him and leave the nightmare he would look at me with this shit eating grin and say " It would be so much easier for you to leave if I cheated huh?" He never cheated, but he did become a man whore after the break up until he died. It doesn't really matter if he had someone else or not, the hell they put us through is more than enough, heal yourself, only think about yourself right now and push through this, the light at the end of this nightmare is so bright and life's so wonderful without the shit. I will never Le anyone do to me again what he did, I have had many narcs in my life , but this one was a lesson well learned for sure, I always told him I learned so much from him, he just had no idea what I learned. If it wasn't for him I probably still wouldn't know about NPD or anything else. Stay strong and true to yourself it is so worth it in the end.
Do you mind me asking , how old was your exn and how did he pass away?
he was 51, died of a heart attack or so they said. he would have been 52 in July.
Wow, he was so young...Just sad!
My thing ended last year, and I broke it off--there was no other woman, for a few months, after me. But...I do remember wondering about her, even though I had started dating, at the time, too. Wondering...will she be treated better/worse, etc?
All those thoughts during the early stages of recovery, plagued me.
I think that it's safe to say, the person who comes after us, whether the narc was cheating or not, whether they left you for someone else or not...that the new person 'down the road,' even...you will have some of those thoughts, as to comparing yourself to her/him.
As Hunter poignantly puts...''we are all the OW.' eventually, we all are or were. lol
I had discovered that he treated her even worse. I have stayed in contact with only one mutual friend, as she was my friend before he came along. And she's been dear to me, was never a pot stirrer like some of the others. Well, this year, after I was over it all...she said to me that he hit on that girl's sister!
It's hard to believe he could get worse, but he did.
Here's to living narc free!
mine doesn't either and i think it would be much easier if he did. Can't imagine any woman would put up with him though.
my proclaimed that he certainly wasn`t seeing anyone else or going to get involved with anyone as he cannot make a commmitment as he cannot change.
Bolony!!!!!! Later, I found out he started seeing his Old Supply even if she is occassionally a bootie call.
You just can`t believe a NARC! EVER!
Don't believe it for a second.
N kept insisting he hadn't dated since exwife left. Kept reiterating how he just needed to be alone. How he couldn't be in a relationship, he'd simply been heartbroken, one too many times. The old Boo Hoo Fest...
Come to find, he was not only talking to ME the whole time, but ANOTHER long distance girl, AND all the while, dating somebody locally. lol
It's like Bill Clinton, when he said,"Well, that depends on what your definition of IS, is..." It's sematics and foot shuffling.
If he's breathing, he's hunting for supply.
I don't think my xn had another woman...don't really know for sure...but, when I think about it, they were eveeywhere in some form or fashion....the porn for one...are they not ow? they are to me....the xwives that I had to hear about constantly...are they not ow???they are to me...
I've learned through this forum that to a narc, a blow up doll could be ow...
I've also learned contact=pain....and I'm tired of hurting
does there need to be OW? If you are in an abusive relationship its about YOU not him or OW.
If hes lied to you lots of times in the past and you ask him a question hoping for the truth.....do you expect to get it?
Liars lie....its what they do...
My exN was acting weird for a while there and I noticed little things that he would do or say that made me realize that there was someone new. I used to ask him about it and he would deny it almost right away and he would swear on his kids lives! But there was one time where I looked like I was genuinely happy and trying to move on with my life and I said to him "you know I'm not an idiot.. I know there is someone else" he looked at me and said "I know you're not... It just started I guess. We just started talking" BULLSHIT. And I know he was only telling me this because I looked happy and he wanted to get a reaction out of me and make sure I still care about him. Well, he told me this while we were at work ( we used to have a meeting spot where we would just sit and talk) and he sure got a reaction out of me. I was so upset I left work early. Do you think he cared I was that upset? Hell no! He was mad at me and said "I was such a fool to think you were actually over me! I will never meet up with you again!" as I was balling my eyes out and of course... I was the one calling him non stop after that and he was ignoring me. This man had me under such a spell that I actually felt bad after that when normally... I would say eff it! I'm moving on!
youve just answered my intuition.......when you said....
My exN was acting weird for a while there and I noticed little things that he would do or say that made me realize that there was someone new
yeah ive noticed that hes said things that HE wouldnt normally say at all????
like talking in a more modern language sort of thing.....for example.....he went from say no problem to no probs....and he went from saying sorry to soz?...i mean youre talking about a 64 yr old man here who is very 'old school'....
To my knowledge my n is not involved with anyone else but it doesn't matter. They are still shitheads.
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