So we are going along and staying in the day and I hollar for the kids to walk on the side cuz u hear a car. And the truck pulls up. I'm walking with one sone in hand. I don't recognize...then as it slowly passes, sure as shit. My son says Mommie that's Jim. With the ow no less.
Then that mother fucker pulls over and up ever so slowly to my other son and my niece. As if he wanted to be recognized.
I can not tell you the vast array of emotions. Jesus Christ. Thanks so much to grace who texted me till my battery died on my phone.
Jesus. I can nt get past these two thoughts. First that I need ow to know the truth. Second...we'll it passed cuz I can't fuckin remember. God dammit. I am fuckin pissed. I have gone from a to z. Why does she work and I don't. Why doesn't he love me. What did I do wrong. Why am I the onl one suffering. On and on and on... Christ.
I know this stuff. I'm not trying to prove any points. It would not matter what I said. He is a sick sadistic mother fucker. He already filled ow head with shit. She already thinks I'm a crazy lady. Whatever. Make it fuckin stop. Already.
He will not change
He can not feel any emotions
He is doing to her exactly what he did to me
I may never get my justification...which is to know he fucked her up to...yes... I'm aware that's a pretty sick thought... And that was my second thought I forgot.
I did not react. I did not even recognize him. So I hive n clue if I accidentally fed his shit or not.
I am red hot with rage. That fucker hovered my kids and that is enough to make me hunt him down in the dark and beat him to within an inch of his life.
I just am really ....I don't even have words. How the fuck did a once secure intelligent pretty self supporting solid woman get this fucked up.
Ok. And here is the funny...so I text to grace who the fuck at 44 drives their Mommies pickup truck with their shirt off....text back....rednecks do that....? Lmao.... And he had wife beater shades on....
What the fuck happened t me. I need to get back or start over or rediscover who the he'll I was or am or something. I am just done with this shit. Done. Fucker.