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How many people meet the n in AA
tryingtorecover
Member since:
44 weeks 6 days
44 weeks 6 days
Last activity:
5 hours 28 min
5 hours 28 min
How many people meet the n in AA
Posted August 12, 2012 - 2:29pm
Im wondering how many of you met the narc in AA? Guess it's true what they say, "don not go shopping in the scratch and dent department". I am over 24 hrs...no cyberstalking....go me
So did any of you meet the narc in the rooms...I did and never again!
Ttr
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met mine there too
August 17, 2012 - 5:43pm — jackguyit's made me much more wary about who I trust/have friendships with from that circle
having said that I encounter lots of narcs in other environments too...
I met mine there.
August 13, 2012 - 8:50pm — Brooke1Never again.
met mine in NA
August 13, 2012 - 7:47am — juliacatherineohhhh boy.... if the program is not a free for all for narcissistic men I don't know what is! I have 11 years clean and my ex N has 19. Hard to believe. He tries to come off as Mr. Spiritual and Mr. Recovery. Most people buy into it. He is an ass. This is where he gets a lot of his N supply because sadly, people who dont know any better look up to him. I am a person who has a pretty healthy skepticism when it comes to people being full of crap and I thought I had a good B.S. detector. I don't invite men into my life lightly. So this man is good - he broke through all that and it was fun for him I believe. I could go on and on and on. I have been looking for others who are in the program and have experienced this, anyone please feel free to PM me. I need support with this too. ug!
N's in NA!! ugh!
August 17, 2012 - 1:51am — wildfilly68Hi Julia : ) Met my N in the rooms of NA as well. My 90 days to his 12 years. I will be posting my story soon, don't have the energy at the moment lol! Glad u are here and I would like to thank everyone who is a part of this incredible site, I'm amazed at how many of us ( and them!) there are! Holy shit for reals! Peace, WF.
Oh boy!
August 13, 2012 - 9:05pm — round3That is EXACTLY how my N was. He could spoon feed bullshit from the podium like nobody's business. It was amazing and people would just be like oh yeah - what a spiritual giant.
Nobody ever paid attention to his patterns. And nobody ever paid attention to his fucking actions. Which NEVER matched his words. And I was always feeling like everyone thought i was the crazy lady. And now some people know about this last episode and I can see the trickle effect and frankly, I don't give a shit. I figure the sick fuckers that side with N or defend him or what to plead "not judging" can all go to hell right with him.
It really pisses me off to no end. His patterns are totally clear. He NEVER stayed at a meeting where healthy sobriety resided. He HEVER stayed at a meeting when his commitment ended and he didn't get another one that made him stand out. He NEVER stayed at a meeting if he was rejected at the meeting by someone for whatever the reason.
Just thinking about this and the risk I put myself in and the shit I tolerated from N and others on the holier than thou platform that can be perceived in meetings just really pisses me off. I do not have a problem owning my shit. I haven't for years. But if I am expected to own my shit then they should expect the same from him. And this shit of "just not a match" doesn't cut it. It's more like he is a predator psycho/narc freak and one day he will latch on to someone who doesn't ahve the support system I do and fuck them up beyond repair.
I really wish he would just die. I swear, when the shit starts bubbling with memories, I just really wish he would go to hell. Along with the rest of the bastards that did this to good kind hearted people.
not feeling the empathy for the FN yet.
The thing that appears to be helping me is he has not returned to any of the meetings that he went to that i go to. He flees meetings quickly. He is barely lasting a year at meetings. He is down to small meetings with not growth, no structure, no fellowship. And not in my area. Which is fine.
round3
they are powerless over being an N!
August 17, 2012 - 7:01pm — wildfilly68I think the 12 step fellowship can be a VERY damaging enviroment for us. I am now attending SMART recovery and SOS, which is self empowering. Peace and love to all the healing souls here ; )
Screwing with people's heads
August 17, 2012 - 6:21am — GracefullyFreeMine LOVED spouting off stories and sharing experiences that made people love/look up to him.
He also got off on the supply he could use of older people in the program -- or newcomers -- who he would TALK about 'being able to f*@k with their head' and how he loved confusing them and so on.
Looking back, I now know he was actually drinking for quite some time while telling me he hoped I never saw him drunk. And that he was TRYING to manipulate me into drinking for a good ten months before I finally did.
Fucker.
Grace
mtgs-
August 13, 2012 - 9:20pm — tryingtorecoverit is amazing how we all share such similar experiences...it's as if you've just written the message from my experiences for me.
i go to completely different mtgs outside of town and generally women's mtgs now. i hate the idea of going to women's mtgs. If i really look at it it's because it's something that is KEY to my recovery...rebellion dogs barking every step.
Come to learn that at the women's mtgs i feel safe and can pretty much guarantee there will be no narc sightings.
ttr
N
August 12, 2012 - 3:16pm — IncognitoBurritoN goes to AA b/c he thinks he's "co-dependent." I'm sure he gets all the back pats, and sympathy, any N could ever want there. It's a lot easier to whine about how much other people have hurt you, to a room full complete strangers, when you don't have the people YOU'VE HURT standing there, to fill in the huge gaps he, no doubt, leaves out.
Alanon is for codependents
August 12, 2012 - 4:03pm — tryingtorecoverHmm. I do not know anthing about you....so this may not apply to you....than again it might.
From my understanding people with alcohol and drug addictions go to AA. ( i am a recovering Alkie and pill head...6.5 years)
And I am sure, that there are codependents in there as well. The MAIN reason someone would/should go to AA is to recovery from booze and drugs...the rest falls into place if you really want to recover.
Codepependents go to alanon mtgs or coda mtgs...to handle the codependency issue first and foremost.
So, you may want to consider the possibility that this is another
LIE LIE LIE that your x put out there for you to gobble up.
Ttr
Message
August 12, 2012 - 4:40pm — IncognitoBurritoMessaged you!
Mine was
August 12, 2012 - 10:32pm — round3I am in recovery and N was in same circles....
So it's just a fact of how we met. Things that I notice now in hindsight that make sense are things like, he never stayed in the same "regular" meetings for long. He NEVER stayed in meetings where the solution was discussed and there was healthy emotional sobriety around. He never stayed in meetings unless he had a commitment that sort of put him in the limelight....
this all tells me if N couldn't get S, he moved to a different meeting. Or if his S or ego was threatened in any way shape or form, he moved to different meetings.
And to all of that I say BOOYAH FUCKER! I need to go to meetings. It's what works for me. I know this. And I feel alot better knowing, for now anyways, I can really focus on what I need to focus at a meeting (my recovery) if I am not busy having an anxiety attack if he is there or having one cuz I'm pending the doom of him showing up...
round3