All these emotions came over me at once... And I started typing out and email to him... Tell him off and that I really figured out who is was and all the lies he told me. About his ex wife and so on. But after I typed it out and reread it... It made me realize that he will read it... And still not care, this is him... He knows what he did, he knows what he lied to me about, he knows he was incredibly smooth and swallowed me whole. I am hurting so bad tonight and I do not know why. I have such a heavy heart. I know it's because of all the other stresses going on in my life right now. But as of today I am now 13 days no contact and still pushing through. This is so hard. I just want to stick it to him. The hardest pill to swallow right now is knowing that I do not matter to him, and knowing that he is not thinking about me at all yet here I am, a mess over a stupid ass hole who didn't deserve me at all!