Spoke to his ex well truly not his ex surprise

Spoke to his ex well truly not his ex surprise
Posted August 2, 2012 - 9:16pm
0

So today his ex well really current called me after I emailed her. She is and has been his girlfriend for 6 years!! He lives with her when he is in town. He told her I was Craxy and stalking him when she found cards from me. Really stalking!! She asked what I meant by a relationship with him. Oh try left my husband sold my house and was planning on moving.
At first she was kinda distant but by the end she said their relationship is a roller coaster and they don't speak during the week and just text if it's important. Bet he loves that!!
It literally made me so sick to my stomach I could not eat. Confirming the lies does not make me feel better at all! I have mixed emotions now. I want to yell at him so bad to his face. Who does shit like that to anyone. I could never hurt someone that way. The sicker piece is if I would have conformed better and stopped questioning him he probably would have had both lives for a very long time. She said at least you can get over him try living in the same state. But honestly I think she will stay. It's truly sad. I hate it all! Please give me some advice ...

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onwithmylife's picture

NBX

August 4, 2012 - 7:14am — onwithmylife

I think it was good to contact her, it gave you the validation you needed, NOW you need to do the homework, read research, get therapy, do it all and you will recover. I met his first wife and she too was instrumental in helping me to recover and we are still best friends too...

NBX's picture

Thanks it's all so fresh and

August 2, 2012 - 11:15pm — NBX

Thanks it's all so fresh and at times I just feel so lost.

JustVicki's picture

Very similar

August 2, 2012 - 10:00pm — JustVicki

My ex-N was my HS boyfriend from over 30 years ago. We got back together two years after my divorce. It was only after WEEKS did I find out he had a girlfriend and he lives with her!

He was trying me out as her replacement. After I found out, I was already in love and begged him to leave her or at least tell her what was going on.

For one full year, he insisted I lose weight, basically do everything I could to look like that 18 year old girl he remembered. I did it. I got down to 107 lbs., let my hair grow out, etc. He still wouldn't tell her.

After one full year, I called her and told her the entire story. She kicked him out, but took him back 2 days later.

I hope they are happy together. He nearly destroyed me and left me behind to pick up the pieces.

They are not normal people.

When I tell people my story, I see a blank glaze in their eyes.

You are better off without him. I'm in therapy and I've read Lisa's books. Give yourself a break. When I wanted to cry, I cried. I felt sorry for myself for about a month, but I slowly started feeling better and now I feel as if I have my life back. You can do the same thing. You deserve so much better. So do I.

JustVicki

Lacey's picture

It's Uncanny

August 3, 2012 - 1:31pm — Lacey

JustVicki: Your story is identical to mine. I spent 2-1/2 years with my ex-N who was also a high school friend 30 years ago. I posted on another thread that it was like a "perfect storm" because we had the same memories, friends, teachers and tastes, i.e., music, food. While I don't believe in soul mates, I told a therapist last year that he was as close as one could be.

That made it so much more difficult when the "discard" came. I never experienced the "devalue". I was convinced for years that I had the solace of finding the man I'd have beside me until death...and then I learned he had reconciled with his ex-W months ago.

Because they have 3 kids, one only 4, I emailed his W about us and even proof that he had continued to contact me after I left. I also sent her information on psychopathy and narcissism as well as links for more information. We've exchanged a few emails since then because she was curious if his contacts continued (they did) but nothing for a while. She claims that she's made efforts to protect herself financially (she owns the business) and she's heading into therapy herself.

It's funny but we KNOW what the future holds for your ex and his girlfriend even better than she does. You threw her a lifeline and she has made her choice. I wonder what avatar and user name she'll be using when she starts posting here a year from now, LOL.

NBX's picture

Thanks I really needed that.

August 4, 2012 - 7:04am — NBX

Thanks I really needed that. Sometimes it's so hard. I never planned on telling her but when she asked I felt obligated. It sucks for someone to treat you this way. I sent her the emails and pictures of us and told her its hard to be called a stalker with all my ilu emails and him smiling beside me. She actually said at least you can get over him. I live in the same state. That's why I think she will stay but that's so sad. I gave her the website link. I told her she will be amazed when she reads it. He meets every criteria there is for a N.

Hunter's picture

Ok soo you got your

August 2, 2012 - 9:25pm — Hunter

Ok soo you got your validation..

Talking to her is breaking the NC rule..

Advice?? Thearpy, read, Thearpy , Read, and NOOOOO CONTACT..

One on One with Goldie is advised ..

Hunter