NBX's Story

My "NB" X

This is my story, my notebook ("NB"), now my "NB" X. I met a man on June 21, 2011 that would forever change my life. He came in as a Consultant to help our company. He was funny, charming, handsome, with a sense of arrogance. The first time me met he made a joke about our new system that was failing and I blew him off and kept at him. Everyone else was not in the joking mood and were shy to his jokes. We spent 3 long days together and what an impact he had on everyone. We were desperate looking for answers to help our system function and he was he was our knight and shining armour sent to rescue us. He pulled me aside his last day and asked if we needed him to stay longer, which of course we did, like I said we were desperate! He stayed another day and many more days after that. The day he left I looked at the elevator as he was leaving and said to a random staff member " I am going to miss him". She said "don't worry honey he will be back". Those words always stuck with me. When I would relate back to it I made myself believe this was a sign he is "The One"!

My life became very confusing and complicated after that. I was married with a child and a step child. My marriage had not been great and my husband had done a lot of wrong that I never let go of and tortured myself with daily. I regrettable started a relationship with another man from that day forward. We text as soon as he left actually stating to each other we wish he could have stayed longer. That night we text for five hours. I was happy, gitty, like a school girl. By July 11th I was fighting with my husband and questioning being married. I completely resented my husband and talked to this man constantly. We talked at work then at night for hours, even until 4 or 5 am. We literally talked 4,5,6 hrs at a time. I developed a relationship that was so close, but really I didn't know him at all.

He came back within a week of our first meeting then twice a month for awhile and at least once a month until this past May. Believe me he was scheduled through July and was trying to come indefinitely if he could. We became closer and closer each time he was here. He was my number one priority and unfortunately stayed that way. He would send me songs "love of my life", "give me everything", "colder weather", and they kept getting better. "Colder Weather" being my favorite because it describes him so well! The cover he so nicely pointed out was titled "You Get What You Give", ironic! He pointed this out to me, really take a good look in the mirror.

This man completely uprooted my life with my help of course. My husband discovered I was excessively talking to him which I denied and said it was all business. Then my husband became psychotic and I relied on my new prince to help me. This was a life I never want to relive. My husband became someone I did not know and his behavior from being hurt resulting in poor choices and anger. He did things he should be in jail for but I protected him from that. I still loved my husband and I knew this was not him. He was devastated I had this relationship and in shock I would ever leave him. He thought he could treat me bad forever and I would always be there. But don't worry my prince was there to rescue me. He was my sole supporter and would try to give me money, talked with my friends, co-workers, etc. He actually wrote me a blank check to use whenever. Cried to my friends about how concerned he was for me.

But all my time with him was amazing. We went out had fun, drank, partied like teenagers. It was all great and I was actually happy. Even though I had so much drama in my life he made me feel calm and safe. We had this relationship for about five months. I was completely in love, infactuated with him. He did the same for me made me number one on top of the world. He said "nobody has ever made me feel this way, you are the love of my life". When actually he also had a girlfriend of seven years. He referred to her as ONF on and off and didn't want to spend his life with her. Always said he was going to break it off. He finally said he did in Jan maybe but I am almost positive that's a lie. But I accepted it because I knew he loved me and he just didn't want to hurt her feelings. Crazy huh!

He would send me songs or acronyms that said ilumtaitw (I love you more than anything in the world), ilu, Imu, anything you can think of. I thought it was great, thoughtful, sweet, everything I had ever wanted. I did not mention he was young, very successful, intelligent, appeared to be well off, great family, caring, "The Whole Package"! He was great and everyone that came in contact with him loved him. People requested to have him come back. Not to mention the group of us that dealt with him all the time worshipped him. He always had to pay for everything. From dinner to drinks and for everyone. He said it was an insult for him not to pay. Actually acted very anger when we bought his lunch for his birthday as a surprise with cake and gifts.

Phone sex was another thing he loved along with himself. I thought it was very weird and creepy when he initially started it, but as always I did whatever he needed. He also cried during one of the first encounters we had when we were alone together. This really freaked me out because I was only with men who never cried. Alls I could think about was my friend saying if they cry at a drop of a dime they will kill you. But my other friend reassured me Italians are passionate and emotional so I ignored my flags! He became my friend, lover, savior, my everything. I loved him more than I knew was possible. He showed me a world I never knew existed. It was outside of what I knew and experienced and I loved it. Enough to leave my husband... I left and lived with my parents for 3 months. I would have moved away from everything and everyone to be with him. It makes me so mad that he had that type of power over me.

Now once I was head over heels in love with him flaws and all, because believe me he had them. I went with my co-workers to his town on business. Now I thought this was going to be an exceptional visit. Needless to say it started my heartache. He of course wined and dined us the entire week but he would never stay the night or offer to see his home. Now we discussed staying at his house the entire visit but once it came the excuses started flying. I became very upset and he was cold. Then of course I was and he had to make up and stayed most of the next night. I began to question him after that. This was in the end of October and we started fighting a lot. I sent him gifts for birthdays, Christmas, and at random but never anything in return anymore. I then got back with my husband at the end of November until after New Years. We still talked but he stopped answering my calls and text for awhile. He acted like it was all my fault and all I liked to do was fight. He said " I didn't care enough about him, I was selfish". I was so upset about this because nobody would ever describe me that way. I questioned myself constantly. But I still could not remove him from my life. I thought about him constantly I always said I knew there was more in life and he was my more.

So then came January and he needed something from me obviously. He played the role I needed to visit another town and shadow him for a couple days. Of course I finally agreed and off I went to spend our first one on one without anyone for days. No co-workers, husband, parents, kids just me and him. Needless to say my husband was very anger but I had no other thoughts except I need to see what this brings me. I went and had the best time of my entire life. We worked, we went to dinner, walked the streets, went to lunch, layed in bed, etc. Nobody bothered us my entire visit it was amazing the amount of love I felt. We met everyone at the hotel bar which he knew of course and everyone was drawn to us. When it was time to leave we both cried making plans for our future our "NB" (Notebook). He would quote that movie to me all the time. It was both our favorites and we always said we would have our "NB" one day. Now my "NB" X for over.

I came home moved to my parents and told my husband it was over. He told me he should have never took me for granted and doesn't blame me for leaving. He still acted out until April but it got better. My prince then took over full force with a twist. We had good and bad all the time. He came once a month or more on business and I would now stay with him from the time he landed until he left. The last night we would travel to a new place each time and stay by the airport. I loved it, I loved him. The closer we got he wanted my parents approval but I was hesitant because of my husband and their relationship. He sensed this and made every effort for their approval. Became my protector from my husbands poor behavior that my parents even hated now. We started going to dinner with them and did each week he was here. My daughter started staying with me when he came and we took her out. A whole new level of a relationship. I aimed to please him and wanted him to want us as a family. He played the role and said it was the best time in his life going to dinner with me and her. Bought her gifts and colored with her at dinner. It was adorable and made me love him more. So it seems my dreams are coming true little by little. I love him, my daughter is starting to and my parents accept him now too. Life is perfect!

Well then I except more and want the relationship to move forward. We fought every time he left until he came back. It was an emotional roller coaster. I hated it I expected him to call and he would call when he felt like it and then made me feel horrible for questioning him. Boy did I ever question him. I called him out on all his flaws and he hated it. He become in raged at times and ignored me for days. I was constantly up and down. High low high low. My friends and family were worried because this was not me. Then for 2 months March and April he started putting forth effort and calling like he should. He would say each time he came we need to figure this out and soon we can't keep on like this anymore. So we were trying to decide who would move and when, how, etc. It was a huge step and a very complicated one. Then it all stopped!!

We spent our first weekend away together without work in May. He was so different and angry. He said I did not appreciate him. I finally said I was leaving and I could not be in this type of relationship. I had no idea what was wrong with him. He quickly changed his tune and we had a good time for the most part. It was up and down but he even had me making crepes with him in the hotel lobby. The couple there said oh are you two here picking out your wedding menu. He replied oh we will be getting married! Everywhere we went people would draw to us asking where we met or tell us the story, your so cute together. It was like a fairy tale. Everyone said we acted like we have been married for 20 years. He loved it and so did I, who wouldn't. Then he left and that night I wanted to seriously talk about us and moving ahead and he blew me off to go out. I was enraged and let him have it. We argued forever that night. Then he ignored me with occasional emails or text blaming me of course. He did this for 2 weeks I apologized every way I knew how and nothing. We were at our closest point in our relationship and he just stopped. Well then I flew in on business again. I am sure complete terror comes within merging his double lives again.

He text me as soon as I landed with ilu lets not fight. Then called and try to make it all better but it wasn't! I hated all the lies and ignoring. So we fought the first night via text. I did not mention after the first 5 months he liked most of his communication to be text or email because he was so busy. I hated it because I always liked talking to him and wanted to talk. Which I am sure he hated because I always wanted answers and questioned him constantly. That day we left the seminar because he wanted to talk. We talked for 3 hours and even when I was so mad as soon as he touched me I got chills and he made me so calm. We made up he said he wanted to move forward move whatever it took to make us US again. We ate lunch at Chic-Fila and he said I absolutely love eating here with you. I know it's corny but ilu and I love that we can do this together. He liked high end resturants, food, and people. I was less impressed with that and he never liked that. One time I walked towards the door of a resturant and noticed he wasn't behind me so I stopped. He walked up and said " I can't believe you would walk away from me in a five star resturant. I told him ever so kindly I did not care if it was a 1, 3, or 10 star resturant and he was acting ridiculous. Not to mention I did not even walk away from him I thought he was behind me. He was obsessed with status and power. Also his looks he always wore a suit unless it was just us at the hotel. He would stand us in front of the mirror all the time and say look how cute we are together. He probably had $30,000 in his teeth alone. He always looked great but I liked him best in a white tee shirt. He was so different when we were alone and just lounging. Almost like two completely different people.

After our talk we returned to work and I said and he said we need to talk later. Well later came and I became intoxicated and he kept on with excuses and it ended poorly. I never have been so embarrassed of my actions and felt so crushed by his cold response. It was like he was hollow inside and could not see the hurt and pain I was feeling nor did he care to. I never returned the next day to his work session and my friends did not either. They learned that night of our relationship and the depth of it. I cried and cried they were so upset for me. Everyone knew about us because it was always so obvious but I never admitted anything and kept everything to myself until then to them. He was actually very hurtful, mean even, with severe anxiety, and addicted to alcohol and prescriptions. He lived a very scary unhealthy life traveling every week, not eating, drinking A lot, and taking several medications. All I accepted and made excuses for hoping I could help him through whatever was going on.

This has lead me here now writing this sad story. Since May he has called me 4 times all to benefit him. Wrote some emails and text whenever it suited him. I was devastated crushed left wondering what went wrong how could I fix it. I wanted that loving feeling. He was the one my NB! How could I ever let that go. It's okay that he lies, cheats, ignores, yells, and blames everything on me. I went from the highest point in my life to the lowest. I was strong willed, intelligent, caring, well planned out individual and then I was lost, sad, depressed, weak, crazy, stupid, and obsessed. I could not figure out what was wrong with me. Everyone said this is not you just leave him he is worthless etc. I could not do it I loved him he loved me and I needed to help him realize what we had. I called, text, and emailed thousands of times in the past 3 months. Pooring my heart out then being angry and then apologizing over and over. I have no idea why I am so sorry but I said it a lot! Of course it's all my fault and I am Crazy is what he likes to say. It infuriates me when he says it. I said I am not crazy I am hurt and I don't understand why you are treating me this way. He would just blame me or divert the whole conversation. I use to tell him if this consulting job doesn't work out you could be a real good hostage negotiator. You divert every real conversation we have and I hate that I let you keep doing it.

I was crying last week like I was mourning a death. I have been through periods where I could not sleep, eat, or work. This is not me and I did not know how to move on. The more I tried the more he ignored me. It has literallly driven me crazy to a person I don't know. I finally started looking online last week on how to get over a relationship and it lead me to emotional manipulators. He met 10 out of 10 on the criteria. I emailed him the link and he sent it back replying " I can't believe you sent this to me." Then after I said its over he called at midnight asking what is wrong with me, joked, diverted, and then promised to call and didn't again. That was last Thursday and here I am now writing my story. I found this web site and I thought oh my god I am reading about me and him. It was so scary it made me have chills and sick to my stomach. I had to buy the book and wow what I have learned. He meets every point made about a Narcissist. He is a severe case and it's very sad.
I am sure I could write a lot more he completely changed my whole life and did not care.

The last song he sent was " World to Me" and that was two weeks ago. I use to tell my husband you never say the right thing, well this one always said the right thing, just never meant it!!!